It's pathetic, but I think I get it now. The chicken known affectionately as Lila Bird is scratching in the dirt right behind me, and making happy little cooing and clucking noises. When we put her out the deck, we generally just carry her the ten feet from her 'room' to the doors off of my bedroom and put her on the deck. This reduces the risk of her giving us a special gift by minimizing the distance we are carrying her. Yes, you deduced from the distance correctly; Lila Bird lives in my bedroom. I say hello to her when I get up in the night to use the bathroom, and she clucks polite greetings back.

Anyway, when we put her outside my door, we generally go up to the top of the deck to do whatever we are doing. Earlier, Annie and I were wrapping a birthday present. We barely made it to the table before Lila Bird was running/flying to get up here. She stayed around us the whole time, walking between our legs, and generally showing interest, but really looking for a corn cob, which she did not get (I have one thawing right now, though - spoiled freakin' chicken). After we finished with the present, and got some of Lilo's cat box out for an industrial grade cleaning (the individual responsible for cleaning the cat box has not been terribly thorough), we took Lila Bird up to the chicken coop for what I hoped would be a re-introduction to her domicile, and she could vacate my bedroom. She still has about one square inch of skin showing (she has healed remarkably quickly), and the other two chickens went for it immediately. I stood in the doorway, and Annie stood on the other side of the coop. Lila Bird went under the nest box to hide from them. One of the other survivors decided she was done picking, and went up to roost. The other one was still interested in establishing dominance, and maybe getting some protein in the process.

I knelt down on the step so I could see better, and before I knew it, Lila Bird came out and nestled in between my legs so I would protect her. She cowered there as the chicken came to peck at her, and never even tried to defend herself. She could have easily kicked that bird's butt, but chose not to. Damned pacifist. Annie got made at me when I smacked the chicken for trying to pick at her, preferring to shoo the chicken away. I explained to her that I felt that that would not be much of a deterrent, and she closed her eyes while I swatted the antagonist a couple more times. Well, obviously I was wrong as well. She kept saying, 'that was unpleasant, but let's try one more time... one more time... one more time.' In disgust, I picked up Lila Bird, and we returned to the house... our house, not the hen house. I know it is hard to tell with a chicken, but I think she was giving us one of those smiles that indicated that she knew she had us wrapped around her talon...

Chicken...