May 19, 2007
I have hopefully just returned form my last trip as an UnDistinguished Lecturer for the IEEE. It has been educational, but I think I have done my bit. When I was first asked to do this, I asked how many presentations I would need to give. I was told that I was requested to do up to six each year for two years, but, the informant admitted, few actually reach that number. Well, I have done twelve in the last thirteen months. I have politely declined requests for four more. Technically, my tenure in this role goes until December, but those are the breaks.
The trip had a bit of a rocky start. After I dropped Annie off at school, I went over the mountains. I stopped for some supplies at a store, and had a quick breakfast. The truck was parked and I was entering the 'crappy' terminal at San Jose way too early. Oh well, what was I going to do. Up to this point, all was good. I got in line to use the wonderful electronic check-in. I freakin' love those things. However, it was then that my patience and understanding was pushed. It shouldn't have been a big deal, but for some reason it irked me. All around was a large group of people that... well, were obviously going on a chartered trip together. They had all long been enjoying retirement, for which I was both in admiration and jealousy (I know... what would I do if I were retired... sit on the deck all day?). There were about fifteen in front of me, and folks at the counter kept saying, "sir, I can help you now... sir?" No one was paying attention. Then all the folks standing outside the line started coming in. They didn't come in behind me... oh, no. They just cut in front of me. One lady walked with her large bag around the front by the counters, came in on the side of the line, and went under the rope to cut in front of me. She didn't have to bend down very far, either.
Well, at that point I had had it. There were empty terminals everywhere. I got out of line and just walked to one. I received a few scowls, which I returned with a direct stare until the individuals turned away. I checked in and flew through security. Other than the flight being delayed by a half hour, it went pretty smoothly after that. I mean I have sort of become accustomed to people running into me all the time when they navigate the aisle on a plane. I did think it was rather appropriate that I had to enter the plane at the rear... not the door near the end of the plane, no. I had to climb stairs into the asshole of the plane. I climbed the stairs, thinking, "yup, this is the way it should be."
Bing, bang, boom, I was in Seattle, I had my rental car, made it to the hotel, and was on the computer checking what work requests had been made while I was off-line. I only had a 23 mile drive to the place where I was to give my presentation, and I figured 45 minutes should be sufficient. I was wrong. I turned the corner by the hotel, and came to a complete stop as I headed toward the interstate. I could see it, but I couldn't get to it. After twenty minutes, I got there, and it started moving fairly well. In fact, I exceeded the speed limit for about 500 yards. Then it stopped. We all crawled along for what seemed like an eternity. However, when I saw what was making everyone slow down, I realized it was appropriate. It was just human nature. There was an accident. It wasn't on the freeway. It was on a road next to the freeway. However, it involved someone getting out of control and taking out a PortaPotty. I mean, come on, who can not slow down and even stop to look at a big truck that slammed into a PortaPotty. After that the traffic moved in spurts and I made it. It took an hour and a half.
I talked to some good people, gave my presentation without anyone falling asleep, received a gift of a pound of Seattle's finest coffee, and was on my way back to the hotel. I worked a bit, and went to bed. Unfortunately, I have this problem with worrying about missing my flight. I know, I worry too much about too many things. I can't help it, and that's why I woke up every hour. Finally, I got up, ate some complimentary breakfast, checked out, and headed to the airport.
It's not that far from Seattle to Portland, and some folks chuckled that I was flying the distance, but the timing was such that I couldn't drive between the two and make my committed times. I returned my car, got my ticket and got in line for security. It was complete chaos.
TWO DAYS LATER: I had to get back to work, and am just now finding a moment to complete this. Granted, I am at work, but I have to wait for the test software to do its thing. So, I have five minutes.
Where was I? Oh yeah... chaos. The folks working the x-ray machines and metal detectors did not appear to have a clue about how to direct people. After depositing my gear on the conveyor belt, I was told to get into another line for the metal detector. I waited and waited. Most of the people in front of me had their stuff on the belt associated with this detector. Others like me had been redirected to this line, and were watching our possessions getting lumped together at the end of the belt some twenty feet away. Apparently, some people were being told to just push their way to the head of the line... which they did... without a single show of politeness. Well, that didn't work either because the genius operating the detector didn't seem to realize (or care) what was going on. Finally, a lady started to push her way past me with her whole entourage. I glared down at her from my reasonable height, and she balked for a minute and then said that she had been told to go to the front because her things were on the other belt. I laughed and informed her that so was mine, and so were some other people in the line. In fact, my stuff was almost in front of the pile that was being squashed. She stopped.
Finally, we were through there and I was off to the gate with my typical, although undesired, earliness for the gate. I read and listened to music until I could board. The little twin prop plane was only slightly larger than my truck... The trip was uneventful except for the landing... which was more like something I have experienced on a ride down at the Boardwalk. In no time, I had my bag, my car, and was pulling up to the hotel. I started working immediately, while watching the clock to make sure I gave myself enough time to get to the presentation location. It was only twelve miles away. Shouldn't be a problem, right? Obviously, I never learn. It took me an hour. I left the hotel and immediately came to a stop as traffic inched its way towards the interstate. I only had to be on the freeway for a mile, so I thought I'd be alright. Again, I never learn. I took my exit to find that it was under significant construction. I couldn't find the next road I needed.
I drove around, asked someone who was stopped in traffic with me, and finally found the road. I was off again. After that it went pretty smoothly. I pulled up to the university, parked, and started off to find the building I needed. I figured that I would just ask a student walking around. It was a freakin' ghost town. I walked around all over the place. Finally, in the distance I saw some people. I hurried in that direction, and found two people studying a map of the campus. Great. Fortunately, they were able to point me where I needed to go. I got to the door just when my phone rang with a concerned individual wondering when I was going to get there.
I gave my spiel over the next two hours, talked to a guy who I knew from school, and headed back to the hotel. I worked until almost midnight, and went to sleep. As usual, I woke every hour or so, and finally just got up. I took care of my morning business, and headed to the airport. Portland has a pretty good airport, and in no time, I was sitting at the gate. Fortunately (one of the reasons I like that airport) I had free wireless access, so I pounded on the keyboard some more before boarding the plane.
I decided to drop my stuff off at home, and then go get Annie. I can't say that I got a warm welcome. At the house, Tolkien didn't even come out of the garage to greet me. Lilo sleepily opened his eyes from his vantage point on the bed, and went back to sleep. Annie seemed disappointed to see me with comments like, "I thought Nana was going to pick me up." And, "are any friends coming over?" Oh well, it was the last trip for lecture purposes. Unfortunately, I may have to go to Taiwan pretty soon. I hope it gets postponed at least until Annie is out of school...
Back to work...
The trip had a bit of a rocky start. After I dropped Annie off at school, I went over the mountains. I stopped for some supplies at a store, and had a quick breakfast. The truck was parked and I was entering the 'crappy' terminal at San Jose way too early. Oh well, what was I going to do. Up to this point, all was good. I got in line to use the wonderful electronic check-in. I freakin' love those things. However, it was then that my patience and understanding was pushed. It shouldn't have been a big deal, but for some reason it irked me. All around was a large group of people that... well, were obviously going on a chartered trip together. They had all long been enjoying retirement, for which I was both in admiration and jealousy (I know... what would I do if I were retired... sit on the deck all day?). There were about fifteen in front of me, and folks at the counter kept saying, "sir, I can help you now... sir?" No one was paying attention. Then all the folks standing outside the line started coming in. They didn't come in behind me... oh, no. They just cut in front of me. One lady walked with her large bag around the front by the counters, came in on the side of the line, and went under the rope to cut in front of me. She didn't have to bend down very far, either.
Well, at that point I had had it. There were empty terminals everywhere. I got out of line and just walked to one. I received a few scowls, which I returned with a direct stare until the individuals turned away. I checked in and flew through security. Other than the flight being delayed by a half hour, it went pretty smoothly after that. I mean I have sort of become accustomed to people running into me all the time when they navigate the aisle on a plane. I did think it was rather appropriate that I had to enter the plane at the rear... not the door near the end of the plane, no. I had to climb stairs into the asshole of the plane. I climbed the stairs, thinking, "yup, this is the way it should be."
Bing, bang, boom, I was in Seattle, I had my rental car, made it to the hotel, and was on the computer checking what work requests had been made while I was off-line. I only had a 23 mile drive to the place where I was to give my presentation, and I figured 45 minutes should be sufficient. I was wrong. I turned the corner by the hotel, and came to a complete stop as I headed toward the interstate. I could see it, but I couldn't get to it. After twenty minutes, I got there, and it started moving fairly well. In fact, I exceeded the speed limit for about 500 yards. Then it stopped. We all crawled along for what seemed like an eternity. However, when I saw what was making everyone slow down, I realized it was appropriate. It was just human nature. There was an accident. It wasn't on the freeway. It was on a road next to the freeway. However, it involved someone getting out of control and taking out a PortaPotty. I mean, come on, who can not slow down and even stop to look at a big truck that slammed into a PortaPotty. After that the traffic moved in spurts and I made it. It took an hour and a half.
I talked to some good people, gave my presentation without anyone falling asleep, received a gift of a pound of Seattle's finest coffee, and was on my way back to the hotel. I worked a bit, and went to bed. Unfortunately, I have this problem with worrying about missing my flight. I know, I worry too much about too many things. I can't help it, and that's why I woke up every hour. Finally, I got up, ate some complimentary breakfast, checked out, and headed to the airport.
It's not that far from Seattle to Portland, and some folks chuckled that I was flying the distance, but the timing was such that I couldn't drive between the two and make my committed times. I returned my car, got my ticket and got in line for security. It was complete chaos.
TWO DAYS LATER: I had to get back to work, and am just now finding a moment to complete this. Granted, I am at work, but I have to wait for the test software to do its thing. So, I have five minutes.
Where was I? Oh yeah... chaos. The folks working the x-ray machines and metal detectors did not appear to have a clue about how to direct people. After depositing my gear on the conveyor belt, I was told to get into another line for the metal detector. I waited and waited. Most of the people in front of me had their stuff on the belt associated with this detector. Others like me had been redirected to this line, and were watching our possessions getting lumped together at the end of the belt some twenty feet away. Apparently, some people were being told to just push their way to the head of the line... which they did... without a single show of politeness. Well, that didn't work either because the genius operating the detector didn't seem to realize (or care) what was going on. Finally, a lady started to push her way past me with her whole entourage. I glared down at her from my reasonable height, and she balked for a minute and then said that she had been told to go to the front because her things were on the other belt. I laughed and informed her that so was mine, and so were some other people in the line. In fact, my stuff was almost in front of the pile that was being squashed. She stopped.
Finally, we were through there and I was off to the gate with my typical, although undesired, earliness for the gate. I read and listened to music until I could board. The little twin prop plane was only slightly larger than my truck... The trip was uneventful except for the landing... which was more like something I have experienced on a ride down at the Boardwalk. In no time, I had my bag, my car, and was pulling up to the hotel. I started working immediately, while watching the clock to make sure I gave myself enough time to get to the presentation location. It was only twelve miles away. Shouldn't be a problem, right? Obviously, I never learn. It took me an hour. I left the hotel and immediately came to a stop as traffic inched its way towards the interstate. I only had to be on the freeway for a mile, so I thought I'd be alright. Again, I never learn. I took my exit to find that it was under significant construction. I couldn't find the next road I needed.
I drove around, asked someone who was stopped in traffic with me, and finally found the road. I was off again. After that it went pretty smoothly. I pulled up to the university, parked, and started off to find the building I needed. I figured that I would just ask a student walking around. It was a freakin' ghost town. I walked around all over the place. Finally, in the distance I saw some people. I hurried in that direction, and found two people studying a map of the campus. Great. Fortunately, they were able to point me where I needed to go. I got to the door just when my phone rang with a concerned individual wondering when I was going to get there.
I gave my spiel over the next two hours, talked to a guy who I knew from school, and headed back to the hotel. I worked until almost midnight, and went to sleep. As usual, I woke every hour or so, and finally just got up. I took care of my morning business, and headed to the airport. Portland has a pretty good airport, and in no time, I was sitting at the gate. Fortunately (one of the reasons I like that airport) I had free wireless access, so I pounded on the keyboard some more before boarding the plane.
I decided to drop my stuff off at home, and then go get Annie. I can't say that I got a warm welcome. At the house, Tolkien didn't even come out of the garage to greet me. Lilo sleepily opened his eyes from his vantage point on the bed, and went back to sleep. Annie seemed disappointed to see me with comments like, "I thought Nana was going to pick me up." And, "are any friends coming over?" Oh well, it was the last trip for lecture purposes. Unfortunately, I may have to go to Taiwan pretty soon. I hope it gets postponed at least until Annie is out of school...
Back to work...