I just read Lilo's post, and was shaking my head at the wisdom of the fourth point. My family has always had cats. The earliest I can remember is Samantha, when I was four. She was a black-and-white long hair, and perhaps that's why I have a fondness for that kind of cat (like Lilo). After moving into this house, I discovered a tendency in cats that I can't explain.

For reasons that I won't go in to here (let's just assume they are valid), we don't have a door on the master bathroom. If this is too much information, you better stop reading here... There have been three cats that have lived or live here since we've been here. They all seem inclined to take advantage of "the captive audience" of me on the toilet. When my last wife was still here, her cat Simba (Indian name: Climbed and scratched Expedition and was subsequently removed of claws) would corner me on the throne to tell me the stories of his life. Strangely, he would feel the need to get comfortable with this telling, and would try to nest in my ankle-located pants and underwear.

Well, Simba has moved to another house now and I'm left with Sandy and Lilo. Sandy (Indian name: Poops on floor and doesn't give a damn) saunters in and proceeds to rub against my legs and talk about her day as well. You have no idea how difficult a cat's life can be. She is a bit skittish, and leaves as soon as Lilo comes in to do the same. Lilo (Indian name: Rules the world and will kick your butt if you disagree), however is more bold on the story telling. If he thinks I'm not paying attention, he puts his front paws on my knees to make sure I'm focused on the important things (which does not include the business for which I'm on the porcelain throne).

I love all animals, and have had some very smart dogs. Dogs have some respect for people and accept that people have at least some intelligence. Cats, however, think we are stupid. That's why every morning they ball and wail until they get their breakfast. They figure we must have forgotten from five seconds ago when they asked for it. Being on the toilet just gives them an opportunity to corner us for conversations that we don't understand (ok, maybe they are smarter than us).

I swear that when Sandy and Lilo leave the bathroom after one of these episodes, they shake their heads in a way that indicates I must be an idiot...
Feral