May 28, 2009
Tonight was Open House at Annie's school. I normally really enjoy it, but I have been emotionally stretched pretty thin lately. At any rate, I received a couple of calls from Annie's mom telling me that she was worried that she was not going to make it in time to get something to eat, and she was hungry. She had a long drive after work, and I understood. So, when the food line was getting close to shutting down, I got in line. She arrived with her baby in her arms right after I picked up her hamburger. I continued collecting her food, and made her burger as she wanted. I helped her get settled on the grass to eat her dinner and went to tell Annie, who was playing with friends, that her mother was there. I didn't mind doing it, but in retrospect, I think I went above and beyond the ex-husband requirements.
At any rate, I went over to the tennis courts where Annie and a bunch of her friends were playing games. As I approached the tennis courts, I noticed something. At this point, I need to digress. I have hung out with the kids of Annie's classes on field trips, school activities, and whatever over a hundred times. There have been multiple... many multiple times where I have found my patience stretched and have used my 'daddy voice' to help a student re-think his or her decisions on what is appropriate behavior. Sometimes the student's parent was present. I always felt bad when that was the case. I apologized to a couple of parents, and the response was always, 'don't apologize. I appreciate him/her hearing it from someone else. Then they don't think it is just mom or dad!' The kids always respond very positively. That is, they seem apologetic, and immediately start behaving better. I always figure it is because they realize someone cares, and I have never met anyone in any of Annie's classes that did not like and respect me. I love these kids. I had one mother ask me if she could borrow my 'daddy voice' because she saw the response.
Ok, so you see where this is going. I take our school very seriously, personally, and compassionately. Returning to our time-line, as I approached the tennis courts, I saw this kid taking small chunks of his hot dog, and throwing them on the ground. At first, I thought he found a bad place in the bun, and was just inappropriately discarding it. But as I continued walking, I saw his face. He was simply wanting to drop crap on the ground. His face had this expression that was disturbing. It was the same expression of psychosis that you see in every movie with a psychopath. You know which one I mean? Not the glee of happiness or joy, but one of sick satisfaction for doing something that one knows they shouldn't do, but are doing. It is more akin to anger than anything else.
Well, after I watched him drop five or six pieces, I stopped and said, "excuse me, please stop doing that." That was all. The kid looked at me with this defiant angry look that I am really unaccustomed to, but he did stop. I walked on. Have I mentioned that this kid could not have been more than seven? We are not talking about a rebellious teenager here. I informed Annie that her mother was there, and she sprinted past me to go see her. I turned and started walking back, wondering how I was going to pass the time until we could go to Annie's classroom. As I approached the location of the 'encounter,' I saw the boy standing next to a woman, and they were both glaring at me with that same stare. I just got of what it reminded me! Children of the Corn! That just came to me...
I was absorbed in thought enough that I almost just walked on, which is what I should have done. They continued glaring for a while, and then turned around. It struck me then that the young angelic boy might have accidentally told someone what I said and twisted it a bit... on accident, of course. I thought to myself that if Annie had behaved like that, I'd want to know. It sounds trivial, but I often believe the devil is in the details. One small bad behavior grows into something bigger. So, I turned around and walked over to the woman. I say 'woman' because calling her a troll would be an insult... to trolls, of course. She glowered at me as I stated as kindly as possible, 'yes, I am the one who saw him dropping stuff on the ground, and asked him to stop.' I actually repeated word for word what I had said to the kid. She snarled and told me that she was sitting there the whole time. My mind was taken aback. Ok, you witnessed it, and didn't care. She snarled again, and told me it was none of my business anyway. As I mentioned earlier, I am a little emotionally frayed. I summoned all of my self-control and kept myself from unleashing a torrent of verbal criticism on her. I would not have cursed, but I definitely would have been heard beyond a small distance around me. Instead, I steadily replied, "this is my school, too, and therefore it IS DEFINITELY my business." She growled back that she was his mother, and she could take care of it. I looked back over my shoulder (wondering if I was going to turn back to her having transformed into a hideous beast coming at me all teeth and claws) to see bits of hotdog strewn all over the ground along a ten foot length of walkway. I turned back and said, "understood, then I leave it to you to make sure this gets cleaned up," and walked away. It never did, of course.
Literally one minute later, I was sitting with Annie and her friends. One of them was eating something and dropped something on the ground. I pointed to it, and she dutifully picked it up and put it in the trash. I was baffled. There are two men who are responsible for the custodial duties for Annie's school. I have known one of them since Kindergarten. I can't imagine the despair these guys see when they look at the school after one of these shin-digs.
As we walked down to see Annie's classroom, I saw the... er... woman again. She was sitting by the big redwood, and had her cellphone out. The way she was handling it looked strange. I asked Annie's mom if it looked like she was trying to take a picture of me. Annie's mom didn't think so, but it sure looked awkward. Another friend said that maybe she will take it to the principal, who will recognize me and say, "I know who that is. What did your son do?"
It seems weird that this would have bothered me at all. It really wasn't the dropping of the food. I have asked many, many kids to pick up their garbage after lunch on field trips. They have all done it without a negative response. Sometimes they take it on with gusto and clean up other kids' areas as well. It was that look. That look that made me realize that if I knew that kid's name, or his mother's, I will see it in the paper sometime. It will in all probability not be for winning the Nobel Prize in Physics...
Judgmental, controlling ass... I know. I am working on it...
At any rate, I went over to the tennis courts where Annie and a bunch of her friends were playing games. As I approached the tennis courts, I noticed something. At this point, I need to digress. I have hung out with the kids of Annie's classes on field trips, school activities, and whatever over a hundred times. There have been multiple... many multiple times where I have found my patience stretched and have used my 'daddy voice' to help a student re-think his or her decisions on what is appropriate behavior. Sometimes the student's parent was present. I always felt bad when that was the case. I apologized to a couple of parents, and the response was always, 'don't apologize. I appreciate him/her hearing it from someone else. Then they don't think it is just mom or dad!' The kids always respond very positively. That is, they seem apologetic, and immediately start behaving better. I always figure it is because they realize someone cares, and I have never met anyone in any of Annie's classes that did not like and respect me. I love these kids. I had one mother ask me if she could borrow my 'daddy voice' because she saw the response.
Ok, so you see where this is going. I take our school very seriously, personally, and compassionately. Returning to our time-line, as I approached the tennis courts, I saw this kid taking small chunks of his hot dog, and throwing them on the ground. At first, I thought he found a bad place in the bun, and was just inappropriately discarding it. But as I continued walking, I saw his face. He was simply wanting to drop crap on the ground. His face had this expression that was disturbing. It was the same expression of psychosis that you see in every movie with a psychopath. You know which one I mean? Not the glee of happiness or joy, but one of sick satisfaction for doing something that one knows they shouldn't do, but are doing. It is more akin to anger than anything else.
Well, after I watched him drop five or six pieces, I stopped and said, "excuse me, please stop doing that." That was all. The kid looked at me with this defiant angry look that I am really unaccustomed to, but he did stop. I walked on. Have I mentioned that this kid could not have been more than seven? We are not talking about a rebellious teenager here. I informed Annie that her mother was there, and she sprinted past me to go see her. I turned and started walking back, wondering how I was going to pass the time until we could go to Annie's classroom. As I approached the location of the 'encounter,' I saw the boy standing next to a woman, and they were both glaring at me with that same stare. I just got of what it reminded me! Children of the Corn! That just came to me...
I was absorbed in thought enough that I almost just walked on, which is what I should have done. They continued glaring for a while, and then turned around. It struck me then that the young angelic boy might have accidentally told someone what I said and twisted it a bit... on accident, of course. I thought to myself that if Annie had behaved like that, I'd want to know. It sounds trivial, but I often believe the devil is in the details. One small bad behavior grows into something bigger. So, I turned around and walked over to the woman. I say 'woman' because calling her a troll would be an insult... to trolls, of course. She glowered at me as I stated as kindly as possible, 'yes, I am the one who saw him dropping stuff on the ground, and asked him to stop.' I actually repeated word for word what I had said to the kid. She snarled and told me that she was sitting there the whole time. My mind was taken aback. Ok, you witnessed it, and didn't care. She snarled again, and told me it was none of my business anyway. As I mentioned earlier, I am a little emotionally frayed. I summoned all of my self-control and kept myself from unleashing a torrent of verbal criticism on her. I would not have cursed, but I definitely would have been heard beyond a small distance around me. Instead, I steadily replied, "this is my school, too, and therefore it IS DEFINITELY my business." She growled back that she was his mother, and she could take care of it. I looked back over my shoulder (wondering if I was going to turn back to her having transformed into a hideous beast coming at me all teeth and claws) to see bits of hotdog strewn all over the ground along a ten foot length of walkway. I turned back and said, "understood, then I leave it to you to make sure this gets cleaned up," and walked away. It never did, of course.
Literally one minute later, I was sitting with Annie and her friends. One of them was eating something and dropped something on the ground. I pointed to it, and she dutifully picked it up and put it in the trash. I was baffled. There are two men who are responsible for the custodial duties for Annie's school. I have known one of them since Kindergarten. I can't imagine the despair these guys see when they look at the school after one of these shin-digs.
As we walked down to see Annie's classroom, I saw the... er... woman again. She was sitting by the big redwood, and had her cellphone out. The way she was handling it looked strange. I asked Annie's mom if it looked like she was trying to take a picture of me. Annie's mom didn't think so, but it sure looked awkward. Another friend said that maybe she will take it to the principal, who will recognize me and say, "I know who that is. What did your son do?"
It seems weird that this would have bothered me at all. It really wasn't the dropping of the food. I have asked many, many kids to pick up their garbage after lunch on field trips. They have all done it without a negative response. Sometimes they take it on with gusto and clean up other kids' areas as well. It was that look. That look that made me realize that if I knew that kid's name, or his mother's, I will see it in the paper sometime. It will in all probability not be for winning the Nobel Prize in Physics...
Judgmental, controlling ass... I know. I am working on it...