Winter is coming, and the days are getting shorter and colder. I do consulting work for the other animals that are currently working for domination, but I spend my time looking for a warm place to lie, getting my food, and crapping when I need to. I have created a stink in the study for which I am very proud. Those plugins have met their match with me.
That said, I really do care for my two leggeds. I have to. It is apparent that no one else can. I have found that the bed of the tall two-legged is very warm, and I like to bask in the sun in the morning in his room. I spend most of my time resting in my retirement in preparation for the early morning hours. He doesn’t sleep much, and in the early morning hours I can remind him of my need for canned food. I sleep between his legs, which is very annoying, but it informs me of his waking period. His nightmares are apparently a bit frustrating, but they always have one end: he is up at four o’clock and should be ready to feed me my glorious canned food. Granted, he is a bit stupid. I mean, I remind him of it constantly. “You’re up, just do it.” I got that from a Nike commercial. Good advertising slogan.
Sometimes he wanders to the bathroom, this is great entertainment. Sometimes I open doors just to see if he will stumble into them. I encourage Tolkien to lay in the hallway (he is easily convinced to do anything) and watch Daddy trip and sometimes he whacks himself against the wall. I laugh so hard it brings tears to my eyes. Annie’s backpack is often in the way and is like watching him go through a minefield in the complete dark. Jees, that’s just good stuff.
Unfortunately, Annie is responsible for giving me the canned food. Why couldn’t I have been born with thumbs that work? Still, it is nice to have an excuse to gripe and complain, and I always get what I want. I also get a crack-up about having a “captive” audience when Daddy goes to the bathroom. I can tell him everything about my life. What is he going to do? Get up? I don’t think so. I smell what is happening, and he is going no where without an immediate shower.
All said, it is not a bad life. That’s my take. There are some things you have no control over, and you make the absolute best of what you can do. Maybe Daddy should think about that.
Lilo the Cat Retired