August 19, 2007
... and procrastination really makes it worse! I just finished cleaning out the master bath and closet in preparation for finishing those projects. Actually, I just got out of the shower. That was required before I sat down to whine and complain. If you are thinking about a remodeling project that involves any more than painting the walls, stop. Light a candle, turn on the gas and get out. Poison a nearby tree and encourage it to crush your house. Or, less devious, move.
Serious remodeling uncovers all sorts of problems that you would rather not know about. You will also lose respect for builders in general. They probably aren't all that way, but every builder that has ever touched my house was a lazy bastard that didn't know what he was doing. I would probably have to include myself, and exclude my father and my ex-father-in-law. In case you need an example, when I ripped out the nasty carpet in my master bedroom, I found a hole where the original floor register was located. Instead of cutting some 2x4 and sub floor pieces to fill the area (which they had because they were extending the room), some genius decided to cut a coffee can, hammer the metal flat, and then hammer that to the floor. I am not exaggerating, there was a nail every 1/2 - 3/4 inches around the perimeter. They probably spent more time on that, then had they just used wood and did it right.
All sorts of things come out that require fixing that you didn't know about. That does not include the things you have to move to make the room more functional. Future viewers never know about these things. They just look and say, 'wow, those are nice faucets!' Really? Yeah, that took a lot of work. I had to move all the plumbing access, re-do the dirt stack, plug the holes that the original builders left for rodents to get into the walls, replace the footings and mud sill where the shoddy/old plumbing leaked and rotted the structure...
Granted, my procrastination made this cleaning phase a lot worse. After the septic backed up, I didn't clean it and had to take a shovel to the dried toilet paper. I am an idiot. I suspect most people will simply respond with, 'we wouldn't have that problem.' You can't see my knowing grin and single raised eyebrow right now. You are fooling yourself if you don't think you have some if not all of these issues. Rot? We don't have rot! Of course not. But if your house is more than a few years old, your probability is high that you have wood around the toilet or under the shower/bath plumbing/drain that has experienced some water seepage, and mother nature has decided to use that to cultivate some bacteria and mold. They've eaten some of the wood and it is now soft, spongy, and can be picked apart by your bare hands. But, you don't have rot.
My procrastination has been based not only on a lack of funds, but a mental state that would not allow me to tackle the inevitable. I have cables hanging down from the old installation that should be off, but are they? I have one cable that was left in the wall after the last dumbass remodeled that had the last three feet wrapped in electrical tape. That should be disconnected, but after I found the cable under the deck that was treated the same way, and has spent the last twenty years slowly shorting out and evaporating the copper for five inches back into the sheathing, I can't be sure.
Then we have the reason that a shower was required. It's one thing to pull out old insulation and have those itchy fibers land on your skin, it's even worse when it is accompanied by showers of rodent droppings. Yeah, I know. You don't have that problem. Rodents have the enviable ability to squeeze into unimaginable locations. I read somewhere that even their skulls can flex. The only rodent that I will tolerate is the bat, which also lives in my attic and makes 'contributions' on the insulation. If you live in an area that can have rodents, you have them. Maybe they are not as bad as they are here in the mountains, but you have them. Not all of those noises you hear in the dead of night are 'just the house settling.'
So, the dust is settling in the room right now from the vigorous sweeping. Once that's done, I will sketch some things on the floor, cut a hole for easier access to the plumbing (thank you, Dad, for that suggestion) and figure out what the next step is. I need to move the doorway to the closet, and I think I am going to have to draw the design. The improved stairs (they are not new, that would require county permits) take up more room in the closet, and space is tight.
Isn't this what everybody plans to do on vacation?
Serious remodeling uncovers all sorts of problems that you would rather not know about. You will also lose respect for builders in general. They probably aren't all that way, but every builder that has ever touched my house was a lazy bastard that didn't know what he was doing. I would probably have to include myself, and exclude my father and my ex-father-in-law. In case you need an example, when I ripped out the nasty carpet in my master bedroom, I found a hole where the original floor register was located. Instead of cutting some 2x4 and sub floor pieces to fill the area (which they had because they were extending the room), some genius decided to cut a coffee can, hammer the metal flat, and then hammer that to the floor. I am not exaggerating, there was a nail every 1/2 - 3/4 inches around the perimeter. They probably spent more time on that, then had they just used wood and did it right.
All sorts of things come out that require fixing that you didn't know about. That does not include the things you have to move to make the room more functional. Future viewers never know about these things. They just look and say, 'wow, those are nice faucets!' Really? Yeah, that took a lot of work. I had to move all the plumbing access, re-do the dirt stack, plug the holes that the original builders left for rodents to get into the walls, replace the footings and mud sill where the shoddy/old plumbing leaked and rotted the structure...
Granted, my procrastination made this cleaning phase a lot worse. After the septic backed up, I didn't clean it and had to take a shovel to the dried toilet paper. I am an idiot. I suspect most people will simply respond with, 'we wouldn't have that problem.' You can't see my knowing grin and single raised eyebrow right now. You are fooling yourself if you don't think you have some if not all of these issues. Rot? We don't have rot! Of course not. But if your house is more than a few years old, your probability is high that you have wood around the toilet or under the shower/bath plumbing/drain that has experienced some water seepage, and mother nature has decided to use that to cultivate some bacteria and mold. They've eaten some of the wood and it is now soft, spongy, and can be picked apart by your bare hands. But, you don't have rot.
My procrastination has been based not only on a lack of funds, but a mental state that would not allow me to tackle the inevitable. I have cables hanging down from the old installation that should be off, but are they? I have one cable that was left in the wall after the last dumbass remodeled that had the last three feet wrapped in electrical tape. That should be disconnected, but after I found the cable under the deck that was treated the same way, and has spent the last twenty years slowly shorting out and evaporating the copper for five inches back into the sheathing, I can't be sure.
Then we have the reason that a shower was required. It's one thing to pull out old insulation and have those itchy fibers land on your skin, it's even worse when it is accompanied by showers of rodent droppings. Yeah, I know. You don't have that problem. Rodents have the enviable ability to squeeze into unimaginable locations. I read somewhere that even their skulls can flex. The only rodent that I will tolerate is the bat, which also lives in my attic and makes 'contributions' on the insulation. If you live in an area that can have rodents, you have them. Maybe they are not as bad as they are here in the mountains, but you have them. Not all of those noises you hear in the dead of night are 'just the house settling.'
So, the dust is settling in the room right now from the vigorous sweeping. Once that's done, I will sketch some things on the floor, cut a hole for easier access to the plumbing (thank you, Dad, for that suggestion) and figure out what the next step is. I need to move the doorway to the closet, and I think I am going to have to draw the design. The improved stairs (they are not new, that would require county permits) take up more room in the closet, and space is tight.
Isn't this what everybody plans to do on vacation?