My trip to the orthodontist was much more pleasant than last time (last ortho post). I really don't like to be rude, and was having problems telling the receptionist that I absolutely didn't want the moron again. To make matters worse, I'm terrible about names (not that the Moron ever told me her name). Fortunately, as I stumbled with my words, and said "that person over there and I just don't seem to mesh well", the receptionist nodded and said she understood. I recognize that I'm a bit demanding. I ask everyone to be the best at being themselves, and I try to do the same. This is probably where my friend Veronica attacks me for being too controlling, but that's me. I'm too old to change. At least too old to change quickly. At 35, I figure half my life is alreay behind me. I have other things to work on now. Like being single... an a parent... But I digress...

The lady who worked on my braces today was cool. She was nice, polite, and apologetic when she injured me. The doctor came over and confirmed what I already suspected: my jaw structure is such that it is going to take a long time to move my teeth. Maybe we should just extract my teeth, and let my jaws break the food. I think they could do it. Anyway, she had some new ideas to try to bring my teeth into alignment. All I wanted when I started this adventure was to extend the life of my teeth. I didn't know it was going to be a journal article... again. (When I was five I had some disease that paralyzed me from the waist down, and they were concerned it would move up my body. With help from my sister, who pushed me delicately, I learned to walk again in record time. Supposedly, it was written up somewhere by somebody.)

So, as much as I hate to floss and brush my teeth a zillion times a day, I now have a spring between a couple of teeth. Yes. A spring. This miracle device of technological advancement is intended to pull some teeth to make space for the problem child. One of my molars just refuses to move. In fact, it apparently rejected the wire the last time I was in, which is why I was in such pain. The wires shifted and protruded into my cheek. This is why we shouldn't bow to vanity. God uses Karma to punish you.

Ultimately, I'm going to be in braces for a while. I don't know why that surprises me. Every time I decide to do a project, I set a timeline, and never meet it. When I first went to the orthodontist, the doctor I spoke to said it would be about a year... a little longer. It's been months, and my teeth haven't budged. Looking for the silver lining, at least I don't have to pay for the really expensive tooth-rebuilding procedure for a while. Maybe stock will recover by then.

God, please don't let Annie have my jaws/teeth...

Long in the tooth, but harmless as can be...