I got lazy, and I am suffering for it. I worked from home today. I probably should have gone to the lab, but I felt that I could be more productive from here. In complete cyborg fashion, I sat on the deck with my hands cemented to the keyboard, a cellphone earpiece in one ear, and a home phone earpiece in the other. There were probably lasers shooting out of my eyes as well...

I was punching away, and the phone rang. In answered it without looking, and it was a freakin' telemarketer wanting to talk about my home loan. I politely informed the person that not only did I not have a loan with the company they were referencing, but that I was puzzled on how they could call me. I had never talked to them before, and I am on the no-call list. The person said thank you and hung up. This exact scenario replayed itself a couple of hours later. Exactly. Right down to the thank you and click. And yes, it was a different company.

I need to be more diligent. I need to take a few more minutes, sound interested, and find out more information about the company and caller before I give them the opportunity to hang up. I would like to think that they are idiots to think that calling me will make me suddenly realize that I need to change my loan, but I am the idiot because I did that on my last two refinances. The callers caught me in a good mood, and I ended up doing it. The last one was really smooth. She and I talked and talked, and I actually asked her out! I know. I am severely mind damaged. She and her daughter actually visited for a weekend. It did not go as well as I would have liked, and I think we both left the situation feeling that there was no point. I am sure we each have our issues with why, and they are completely right. Ultimately, I shouldn't date... at all...

At any rate, I don't understand why companies, in particular mortgage companies continue to get away with this. The only other sector that seems to do this as much is stock brokerages. I got a call one time from some firm and the guy started out saying that we had talked before and that he was calling back because I told him to. I cornered him on it because, although it is degrading, my memory is pretty solid. His stuttering and explanations informed me that we had never talked and he was violating the no-call policy. I believe that phone call also ended with him hanging up on me.

To the Telemarketers out there: Don't call me. I have no money, and I don't want your crap. If I have a problem with my situation, I'll look for you. My current mortgage is pretty good, so I don't see a need to change for quite some time. By the way, this goes for the so-called "charity" organizations. These are the worst. They hire people to try to guilt you into contributing, and adopt the latest technique in telemarketing: it is already happening, and they just need to check your address... I really need to investigate the distribution of funds for the charity organization that I gave some time ago. They call back every six months to inform me that they have my pledge stuff in the mail...

I wish I could just hang up on people. Please, call me and help me practice. Just call, and tell me that we are going to work on this. You can go into a spiel that your from the Highway Patrol Support Organization. Start with this, "Hi, I am calling for the Highway Patrol (or Santa Cruz County Sheriff's Department or whatever), and we have a program/circus/whatever going on in Santa Cruz, and are confirming that we can send x number of tickets to you in support. You want to keep drugs away from kids don't you?" It as that point that I will train myself to laugh. I will remind you that I live in the Santa Cruz Mountains, and when I ride my motorcycle home from work, it is fairly common that I am greeted by the smell of pot coming from the car in front of me. You will say, "well, don't you want to see that stopped? Aren't you a good citizen?" At which point I will reply, "I think I am, but your program is obviously not working. Why would I want to continue sending money into a program that is obviously dysfunctional?" That is when you will say, "if you can't attend the (program of choice) you can send the money, and we will give the tickets to some kids that can't afford to come." To which I say, "the program is not working. Have you driven around the Santa Cruz Mountains? Have you spent any time here? No, I am not contributing." We'll go back and forth on this for a while, and then you'll hang up. Here is what we need to work on. I should be the one that hangs up. Help me work on this...

I AM NOT INTERESTED...