October 22, 2008
I don't truly believe that Annie remembers the time that her mom and I split much at all. She has vague recollections that spark certain feelings in her, but I do not think she remembers the details. Nonetheless, it was with a certain amount of pain that I read her latest assignment for a personal narrative, and the topic she chose. She had already edited the piece several times at school, and I was not allowed to correct or edit anything in her work...
Some of the details are wrong. Annie's mother and I did not get divorced right away, and Annie was not aware of our argument on the day her mother left. She was sleeping in her crib, which had been converted into a 'daybed.' In fact, we didn't even really argue. I had woken early and made a big breakfast, which she climbed out of bed long enough to eat, and then went back to bed. I cleared the table (wow, I forgot that we actually used to eat at the dining room table!), and brought in the tools and lumber for our project that we had both agreed would be tackled on that Saturday, with the expectation that the following day would be a 'play day.' I sat on the side of the bed and told her that I didn't think she really wanted to be there, or with us as a family, and maybe she should go stay with her parents. To my stupid surprise, she agreed.
Sorry, my memory ran away with me. At any rate, when I called the pre-school during the day after our typical horrible morning separations, which left both of us in tears, and I waved to her until I couldn't see her any more, narrowly missing parked cars, she was fine. She was laughing and playing with everyone. I admit that her personality changed significantly during that time, but it is what it is.
She has pieced this together from her own recollection of feelings, and I am surprised that she even chose this as her topic. I also worry that her mother is painted in sort of an bad light in this narrative. I have never suggested to her that her mother did anything wrong, but rather that this is just what happened. I have even told her I think I am better off in some ways with her mother having left. Still, she seems to have this feeling of... what? Betrayal? Abandonment? I don't know... I hope she does not truly remember the pain she describes.
Confused...
Parents Split,
by Annie Hockanson
Once a long time ago my parents got divorced. They were in a room arguing. I was sitting in the living room listening. I cried a lot. I took the news very hard. My dad and I were very scared and worried. I felt bad for my dad and I think he felt bad for me too.
Later on my mom was gone. My dad and I were crying by the time she was gone. The next day I had to go to Pre-school. I was still crying. My dad dropped me off. When he got into the gray truck and drove away I waved goodbye while tears were going down my cheek. He waved back to me. I felt sad because my dad was leaving me at school.
Finally, it was nap time and I went to go get my special Snow White pillow out of my cubby. I still was crying. I wasn't so sure about dad but I think he was probably crying also. Dad was calling a lot to see if I was ok at times but usually I wasn't. Then Pre-school was over. I was happy when my dad came to pick me up. I wasn't crying because he was with me. I will never forget that time because that was the time my mom left.
Some of the details are wrong. Annie's mother and I did not get divorced right away, and Annie was not aware of our argument on the day her mother left. She was sleeping in her crib, which had been converted into a 'daybed.' In fact, we didn't even really argue. I had woken early and made a big breakfast, which she climbed out of bed long enough to eat, and then went back to bed. I cleared the table (wow, I forgot that we actually used to eat at the dining room table!), and brought in the tools and lumber for our project that we had both agreed would be tackled on that Saturday, with the expectation that the following day would be a 'play day.' I sat on the side of the bed and told her that I didn't think she really wanted to be there, or with us as a family, and maybe she should go stay with her parents. To my stupid surprise, she agreed.
Sorry, my memory ran away with me. At any rate, when I called the pre-school during the day after our typical horrible morning separations, which left both of us in tears, and I waved to her until I couldn't see her any more, narrowly missing parked cars, she was fine. She was laughing and playing with everyone. I admit that her personality changed significantly during that time, but it is what it is.
She has pieced this together from her own recollection of feelings, and I am surprised that she even chose this as her topic. I also worry that her mother is painted in sort of an bad light in this narrative. I have never suggested to her that her mother did anything wrong, but rather that this is just what happened. I have even told her I think I am better off in some ways with her mother having left. Still, she seems to have this feeling of... what? Betrayal? Abandonment? I don't know... I hope she does not truly remember the pain she describes.
Confused...