Hopefully, you had the chance to have a warm and wonderful Easter with family and/or friends! Me? I'm looking forward to next year. Of course, that means that I won't have Annie here on Christmas, which I really, really like. But that is our life. I didn't create it, didn't do anything to get punished for, just have a habit of choosing ladies that don't have the word "commitment" in their dictionaries. It's ok, though. My beautiful angel is home again, and laying on the floor wrapped up in the Harley blanket. It's not the life I'd planned, but then it is what it is. If you haven't seen the movie Pleasantville, I'd highly recommend it. The first time I watched it, it was on some station or other, and as usual, I was doing other things while it was on. I was folding laundry, or some other such exciting thing, and was passing through the living room, when I heard this great line... Toby Maquire's character was talking to his mother (divorced with two kids), and she was crying. She said, "it's not supposed to be like this" (struggling with life as a divorced parent). Toby's character looked at her, and replied, "it's not supposed to be any way, it just is." I was stunned. It was one of the more remarkable things I've ever heard in a movie... and I love movies.

Strangely, I have realized the truth in this. On this Easter day, I'll say that I do believe in God. However, I don't believe that He has a "plan" for us. We are born with free will. Much like a parent who watches a child make a wrong decision, and suffer the consequences, I think God feels disappointment when we make a poor choice in life, but it isn't part of his doing. His impact is not directly on our lives, but simply a feeling of comfort when we do the right thing, sort of like a proud parent. My first wife was not punished for leaving me by being beaten by the guy she left me for. My second wife is not being rewarded with what I can only believe is her ultimate desire of a relationship for leaving me. I'm not being punished for some wrong-doing that I can't identify with my trials in life. It just is. The beauty of being a human lies in perseverance.

Our life is a jumble of decisions. I believe it was Sartre that said we were doomed to a life of responsibility. I disagree with him, but then I find him a pessimist. We are blessed with a life of responsibility. We are constantly being given the chance to do the right thing. (Honestly, I had no intention of going this direction when I started this post. But, what the heck? It's coming out, anyway.) Too many people I've met respond not to their conscious, but to other people's coments/impact. Instead of doing what they know is right, they respond to other people's comments on what is right. I find this sad.

However, this post has gone on long enough. I like philosophy, though, so maybe I'll continue on another post!
My daughter is home... all is right in the world.