UnAssociated Press- Boulder Creek, California

The House is Mostly Clean

A source in the Hockanson home informs us that the house is virtually clean. The source refused to give a real name, but only released a code name: Lilo. He claims to have witnessed said cleaning from the top of a black recliner. According to the source, the owner of the home has been methodically cleaning and organizing the main rooms of the house. The kitchen is clean, including the difficult to clean Jenn-Air cooking area. The floors have been swept and vacuumed. The sheets on the bed have been washed and cleaned. Trash and recycling has been removed to the soon to be condemned garage.

In an unprecedented move, not only have an incredible number of laundry loads been processed, but they have been put away immediately following cleaning. The informant indicates that the laundry continues to be pushed through as fast as possible, and believes that there is a chance it will all be complete tonight.

Also of interest is the removal of cobwebs. There is some concern that the daughter will miss her pet spider(s), but hopefully will not notice their absence. While dusting has been kept to a minimum, the house seems to have all appearances of being clean, right down to freshly scrubbed kitchen sinks.

It should be noted that the study, play room, and daughter's room are still a chaotic shambles.

Bookies across the country are giving unfavorable odds that the cleanliness will be maintained for more than three days.


In unrelated news, ecologists believe there is a reversal in the global warming trend due to reports that hell has indeed frozen over...
It's a start...