That's right, I am a plumber. I have a toilet that is called a SuperFlush. It is actually scary the first time you are sitting on it, and reach around to flush. It uses an air chamber to force everything out. It rocks, but there is a catch. If you use too much toilet paper, it shoves it into the sewer line so hard that it creates a brick. I know, I am creating all sorts of bad images in your mind, but deal with it. That brick starts its journey to the septic tank happy as can be. "Oh look, a dead mouse! Wow! What is that? Hey, it look like I am going to go through a junction. Cool!" That's when it gets bad. I think that the junction where the line descends has a tendency to hang the brick. After some time, the entire line is clogged. This has happened several times since I put in that toilet. Annie and I have a routine for using the potty that reduces this possibility, but this weekend, I forgot to inform our guests about the excessive use of toilet paper. Sure enough, Monday morning after my shower I glanced into the bathroom-to-be and saw water and crap (literally) issuing from the pipe that will hopefully one day soon house a toilet. I refused to pay the plumber $125 for fifteen minutes of work any more. So, I went to work, and left early. I went to Home Despot and bought an electronic auger for $430. If I use it four times in the next two years, it will have more than paid for itself...

I won't go into the details of juggling work and cleaning out the line, but it was today before I was able to really put it to work. Actually, it was about an hour ago. Sure enough, once I had access to the sewer line, had the auger in place, and gave it power, it took two minutes before sludge was happily running into the septic system. It's strange the things that make me happy. After the last couple of days, I was elated to see crap running out of a pipe. I may have even done a little dance in the yard...

One more thing for which I don't need to hire outside help...

And yes, I am fine with the realization that the way things go for me, after spending this money it will never happen again...

Plumbers Butt not included...