Im still healing from a blackened eye, just a little red around the edges...... not any closer with my ex either, but we sure ain’t singin’ the same tune.
Alan

Hey.... they remade disco inferno!  The old old disco 80’s version is much better!  I wouldn’t let my 15 year old listen to that stuff!  And even she knows better that to listen.  But I am going to check her itunes playlist just in case.

Now… about not thinking it is appropriate for anyone to listen to?  Hmmmm, that it in itself is rather over the top.  Imagine if that view was in force, as if there is not enough intolerance and leaps to judgement by over zealous rightous individuals that strive to tell us what we should or should not listen to, read or watch.  Hell, I think country western is oversimplified in it’s general subject matter and lyrical content.  Who want’s their child to grow up talking like a country western song?  Those two songs are not appropriate for a child to listen to.... you made find them distasteful and not your cup of tea… but please to pass judgement on those who do listen is, well perhaps that is what started the fight.  Think of all the rolling stones songs that were edited for content back in the 60’s.  Perhaps what your ex objected to was your passing of judgement.  Judgemental approaches, by those who consider themselves above reproach can be inflamatory.

How sad that she was not able to see what your true intentions are.  I can hear from the words you type, that you ARE a wonderful parent.

Wendy, Thank you.

My dear Veronica… You always assume the worst of me. I was not suggesting censorship. I just don’t relate to that kind of music, and I don’t understand how anyone can appreciate those lyrics. And? I disagree with you. I’ve told you before that it is all of our jobs to be “judgemental”. I’m judgemental with myself as well, and will continue to be judgemental on *all* things that may influence my daughter. It’s my job and right as a parent to help her decide what is acceptable. Like it or not, I will do so. You and I disagree about a lot of things, and I always say that that is your view, and I don’t have to share it. As a liberal, I would have thought that you would allow everyone the right to judge and decide for themselves… I appreciate your viewpoint, but the final decision on what I think and believe is mine.

Veronica, those songs suck and do nothing to foster good intentions between man and woman anywhere.  50 Cent is a thug making money off the fact that he is the survivor of drug-dealing and pimping.  So why would these be good songs for anyone?  Should anyone aspire to be 50 Cent?  The guy can’t string nouns and verbs into a coherrent sentence, and you feel the need to support him?  I question your judgment.

David, welcome to the world of divorce.  It’s hard enough to get married people to agree upon how to raise their kids.  Divorced folks get to deal with the extra emotional baggage of a difficult split.

Sorry man. 

FWIW, I agree with your view.  This shit should not be heard by kids.

Now, I never said it was a good song or a bad song.  And in my opinion it is not a song I would listen to or recommend anyone else listen to either, Especially children!  But, in this great country of ours there is such a thing as free speech and freedom of expresion.  Who would presume to pass judgement upon another based upon their musical tastes.  Am I the music I listen to?  Is one a “Hick” because they listen to country?  A “Pot head” if they listen to the Grateful Dead?  “Gay” if you’re male and like Barbara Striesand?  Or how about those of us who liked Prince’s “Little Red Corvette”?  The Beatle’s “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” made us all feel like we were pulling one over on our parents.  Kid’s like to listen to the naughty and forbidden.  Making things such makes them magnetic.  Instead, you can use them as a brilliant opportunity to querry their views on such topics, offer our views - the alternative view, open their eyes a little and push them to think of things in a different way or from a different angle.  Life is an opportunity and filled with many things we may not like, things that disgust us and things that we fear.  But censorship does nothing to eliminate any of those things.  One cannot exercise free will and choice without options.  Opportunities come in many shapes and sizes.  Gee, thanks to April’s poor choice in music, and Dave’s ranting about that we have all become a little wiser.

Regarding Judgement.  I never said that you did not have the right to be judgemental regarding yourself and what influences “You” wish to subject your daughter to!  It’s nice to have total control over the listening pleasure of a 5 year old isn’t it?  I think it’s great that April thinks “disco inferno” is not appropriate to listen to.  How Annie ever heard it in the first place to me is moot?  Perhaps by mistake, perhaps the lyrics are not readily apparent unless listened to closely.  Who knows and does it really matter unless you were trolling for a fight?  The point is that April is starting to parent.  You could of approached it differently, especially since the relationship is a strained one and she is so insecure.  You dislike Freddie, you dislike the living arrangements and granted it is easy to find fault and pass judegement.  But in doing so it get’s you nowhere with her but into opposite corners and ready to come out slugging.  How about, a you’re right April, these lyrics are totally inappropriate… there is a need to be more aware of what we listen to in her presence.  You expect her to always ascend to your level.  That might be impossible without providing her a gentler slope than a demanding set of stairs.

Veronica, you have more issues than shrinks have couches.  Supporting free speech doesn’t mean you need to clear mind-numbing harmful lyrics that are obviously detrimental to society.  Sure, it’s legal to broadcast it, but it doesn’t mean it’s a good idea, and that’s the real issue at stake.  I don’t advocate banning of music.  But I certainly don’t support the message behind the lyrics of 50 Cent’s “magical songs.”

Secondly...there isn’t much leeway raising a child.  There are minimum standards that are “deal-breakers” in my book.  You make ASSumptions about David’s viewpoint on the subject and how he related to April...yet you didn’t hear an instant of the conversation.  How quickly you leap to conclusions to judge others and condemn their parenting skills.

Yes it matters how Annie heard the lyrics in the first place.  I guaran-goddamn-tee it wasn’t at David’s house.  So why shouldn’t he be upset at the breakdown in parenting on April’s part?

There IS room for blame here.  Burn all the bras you want and it doesn’t change the truth.  Yes, single dads can be good parents, despite what every iota of society would have us believe.  Daughter’s do not need a mother or father more than the other.  Daughter’s need a good consistent fair and supportive parent - end of list.

I agress with Flanders on this .  I bet dollars to donuts Annie heard this at her mother and friends house and thats why she got so upset that you found out.  Its nothing but trash. Aprils the poorest excuse for a mother I ever saw. Enough said .

I should point out that the reason this came up is because my ex realized that Annie was paying attention to the song, and told her it was not appropriate for her to listen to. She made the positive action, and has assured me that she is paying attention to this sort of thing now. Annie hasn’t been old enough to notice this sort of thing for very long…

Ok, now a little something from..wait what was it I was called?  Oh yeah, the poorest excuse for a mother....hmph.

Yes, I made a mistake as a parent.
(Next sentence to be read with extreme sarcasm):  And being the only parent in the world to ever make a mistake I can see why everyone is up in arms about it.

Now to clear a few things up.  Annie did not hear these song’s at me and “my friends” house. She heard it in my car with just me, which is why I take full responsibility.  I know that these songs are not appropriate for kids, I’m not an idiot.  Annie first heard the song on the radio and liked the beat (for those who do not know her personally, she loves music she can dance to), so I put on the cd and let her dance some more.  Now since I’m assuming none of you have ever heard the songs, you also wouldn’t know that half the time you can’t even understand what the hell he’s even saying.  I didn’t even know all the words myself until David posted them.  And I like to reiterate that once I realized that she did understand some of the words I immediately put an end to it. 

Now I know some of you are going to read this and think I am just making excuses - not true.  I’m just trying to tell my side of the story since David’s postings are very much one-sided. 

Flanders, I suggest you take your own advice and also not leap to conclusions to judge others and condemn their parenting skills. 

Lastly, I am a good mother.  No, I am a damn good mother who happened to make a mistake.  And it doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks, because I may be the “poorest excuse for a mother” in some people’s eyes, but in Annie’s eyes I’m a GREAT mommy and she loves me and that’s all that matters.

Wow, would you look at that, I managed to get my point across without insulting or attacking anyone...see how easy that was?
Enough said.

what if you listen to Striesand remakes only sung by Johnny Cash?

I have to agree with April here.  The words to these songs are for the most part unintelligible.  I also must say Shame on Wendy for the “poorest excuse for a mother” comment.  Shame on dflanders too for the “more issues than couches” comment.  You all talk the high road but take the low.  It is amazing that those who live in glass houses are always the ones most eager to throw stones!  And unfortunately for you dflanders supporting free speech does indeed mean that we are subjected to all sorts of things we may find distasteful.  If you do not know this perhaps then you should revisit your 8th grade civics material.  Perhaps you should take some time to read over the supreme courts decisions pertaining to first amendment.  Thank goodness for you that you atleast can be a dictator in your own home.  And for the record dflanders I never attacked Dave’s parenting of Annie.  I stated only that his approach to the situation regarding April might of been inflammatory.  I agree that children need both parents.  I never said that single dads could not be good parents.  Perhaps I have more issues than shrinks have couches… because you are taking up all the couch space.  Kudos to April for not attacking or insulting anyone.  I on the other hand…

To be fair to Wendy, it was not her who made the “poorest excuse for a mother” comment......

My appologies to Wendy… Sincerest.
I meant Leslie.  So I grovel at Wendy’s feet for forgiveness. 
Shame on Leslie!

Mom, you go ahead and comment whenever and on whatever you want. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, as is evidenced even by hypocrites.

April...for the record, I never labeled you a bad parent.  I said you made a mistake, which you yourself have substantiated and corrected.  You get gold stars for that.

You call yourself a damn good mother.  You also correctly state that Annie thinks you’re a damn good mother.  I agree that Annie thinks you’re a damn good mother, just like she thinks David is a damn good mother, oops, I mean father (grin).  I’ll give you the same unsolicited advice that I gave him - make sure you live up to that expectation in everything you do.  A quote for you..."Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.” ~William Makepeace Thackeray

It’s a heady responsibility, and I would challenge you to examine your behavior and see if you’re living up to Annie’s expectations...wait...let’s revise that...living up to what Annie deserves in a mother.  Same to you David only as a father.  You both have a very special little girl that needs you both to be on the same page and civil all the time.

Now to Veronica.  Thanks for the civics lesson, Professor.  I understand all about free speech.  What does that have to do with monitoring what your children listen to?  Never did I say that rappers shouldn’t be allowed to publish their music.  But I did say that I believe it is inappropriate content for kids.  I also said the messages put forth in that music sucks (IMO).  I live in the city.  I see how this kind of music encourages crappy behavior in kids.  It’s mysognistic, and completely undermines any sort of equality between the sexes.  I never said it shouldn’t be broadcast.  I said I don’t support its message.  Read more before you post.

Secondly, you talk of people living in glass houses throwing stones.  So let me get this straight.  In real life, you never told David he was unfit to be a parent and that Annie would be better off with her mother? 

I stand my first assertion.  I question your judgement.

I have to be a judge..... its in da genes.....  April, I know Dave, and know that Dave wouldn’t have complete crap in his life...thats all I know about you.  I would like to say that I remember listening to a certain song, oh yes....  “Goodbye Marry”, a song written by a group I can’t remember, but are one of my favorite pasthood groups....  the point is, I know one set of lyrics to the song...... “...and the devil is my savior, and I must be movin’ on....” those simple words hit me hard growing up.... though I loved the beat, and swing,.... I couldn’t even repeat those words.... ha....  This just made me feel more confidently in the fact that “GOOD” kids will grow up to be good kids, and bad kids the same.... there isn’t (for what I believe) any intent on ruining this childs life, so think everyone is jumping to conclusions......  there are GOBS of things that could change a childs life.....  here’s one.....OVERPRETECTING… in fact… thats a huge hazzard, and why we have more liberals now in the world, why more and more are unable to work REAL WORK… and why I lost my job because some 2 year veteran HR guy said I wasn’t qualified to do what the F*&^% I was hand picked and more apt to do than anyone I’ve EVER SEEN.  .... oops....sorry, my own probs…

Tell me “daflanders” when did I every say that David was an unfit parent?  I have also never said that Annie would be better off with her mother than with David.  You should get your facts straight.  I have NEVER berated my daughter for being civil to my ex.  Are you fucking nuts?

I have been divorsed from Victoria’s dad for a very long time.  We have had our differences to be sure, but he is a good father and I believe we parent well together.  Victoria is very fortunate that her father is so involved in her life, and I would not wish for anything different there.  So you need to get your big fat nose out of something you know NOTHING about and your head out of your ass.

Veronica, when you’re ready to join the real world, just let us know.  We’ll save a place for you until you’re ready to be honest and forthright about your true conversations.