I wish my office was that nice.  Instead, I have a sucky cubicle with a boss who sits behinds me and pisses in pickle jars because he doesn’t want to hang up the damn phone and use the restroom.  UGH!!!!

Can I share your office, please?!?!?!

You suck, David.  It’s 16 degrees fahrenheit here.  My office would need salt and a salamander kerosene heater if I did what you’re doing.

Wendy, your boss pisses in pickle jars at the office?  What a sicko...you know, there’s only one way to end this.  One up him.  Take a dump in a trashcan in your cube.  Better yet, take a dump in a trashcan in his cube.  And then file a hostile workplace lawsuit. 

Tell him to take his pickle to the men’s room like the rest of the human species.