February 26, 2005
I can't bring myself to watch "reality TV". I think it is the furthest thing from reality. However, I have beliefs on why this exists. The general public wants to see that "ordinary" people can do something interesting. The participants want recognition. The participants don't generally get enough money to justify eating worms or whatever they have to do. It's about memory and recognition. It's not real. Most if not all of these people will be forgotten in moments. I don't think much of Andy Warhol, but he got something right. He said that in the future everyone would get fifteen minutes of fame. I originally thought he was talking about the media, and that we would get to a point where everyone got a chance for the spotlight. I was wrong. He was talking about the need and desire to be remembered that we all aspire to. We'd get our fifteen minutes of fame, because we would strive for it. The method is wrong, though (in my opinion - which, of course, like noses everyone has one, and you can generally only pick your own). We all want to be remembered. Without the opportunity to be remembered for something great, we'll take what we can get. As I told a friend recently, a parched person in the desert will try to squeeze water from a rock if that is the only thing available.
There is another way, though. Be a hero. Strive to be the best that you can be. Don't justify your bad actions, but do the thing that you know that you should do. A very good friend of mine and I recently had a conversation about acts of good will. He believes that all acts of true goodness fit the true definition of altruism. I respect his opinion, but disagree slightly. I think most people who do something good feel something inside that is a reward. I think that's good stuff, because both parties are rewarded. If good things only come from a complete sense of selflessness, than the number of good acts that people perform will be reduced if not iliminated. We might find ourselves in a state of not willing to do something good, because it doesn't fit the criteria for altruism.
So, I ask that everyone do at least one heroic thing each week. I feel that it's acceptible to feel good about it. Maybe that feeling will grow, and build into a general behavior of doing good things. A word of caution: accept the feeling of doing something good as the reward (if you need one), don't expect it to be returned. Karma doesn't always respond. However, if you continue to try to be a hero, you will be remembered. One of my many heroes is my great-great aunt. Her name was Laura Pearl Yocham. The family called her Annie. She was a teacher to the core. She was a magnificent woman and the matriarch of our family until she passed on. I and a very special family member were with her when she took her last breath. As hard as it was for us, I think she appreciated that we were there. She was 98 years old, as I recall. She was strong, dignified, and caring. She was the only extend family I had when my family moved to Missouri, and one of the reasons we moved there. When we bought our farm, she helped us, and I think bought our first two pigs. One of which, was named Minnie Pearl (my pig). Some of her students continued to write her even up to her death. She had that kind of impact on people. As a result , I have given her the greatest honor that I have in my power to give. My daughter's name is Ann Marie Pearl Hockanson, and the name she goes by is Annie. That and taking over care of her cat are the greatest things in my power to give to sustain the great memory of a wonderful woman, one of my heroes.
I have other heroes, too. I've never been one to have great interest in sports or media folks. My heroes are like a couple I know that while in their mid 20's gave up all they knew. The man, a police officer, found that what he dealt with day-to-day was the sign of a degrading society that he didn't want to subject his children to. They had a daughter, who was born blind in one eye. The doctors told them that they shouldn't expect much from her. She would most likely be "slow". They refused to believe it. They encouraged and pushed her to be the best that she could be. She is currently one of the most brilliant people I know (another one of my heroes).
At any rate, this couple, faced with a future in an area that they didn't believe in, left. They left their known family and friends, in the face of scorn from people who said things like "I hope you know what you're doing". Yeah, that's supportive. They picked up and moved two-thousand miles away. No job. No understanding of what lay ahead, except that it must be better. They bought a farm with a house that the real-estate agent said the best thing they could do was light a match. They didn't do it. Their kids lived in a camper, and they set up a bed in one of the rooms, and set to work rebuilding the home. They did it. They made it work out of sheer determination. They worked as a family to build something out of nothing. The father and mother took jobs where they could and eventually found something permanent. Their kids grew up in an environment of work, trust, and dedication. They had experiences that few others could understand.
That was my mom and dad. My heroes. They don't have bachelor's degrees. They don't have high paying jobs, but they always told my sister and me that we would do something great. There was no question. My sister and I are both highly educated and successful. Granted, she's a liberal (just kidding, sis, I love you), but we have things to be proud of. The catalyst for our lives, in my opinion, began with that hard decision of our parents to move to some obscure place in Southwest Missouri. Be assured, this story will be passed down through my Annie, and her kids, and hopefully beyond.
So, the reason for this post? Go be a hero. If you have kids, it's actually a simple thing. Be there. Be at school. Be outside with them. Show them something wonderful that they don't know about. Go beyond this, too. Make someone at work feel good about themselves. If you go to to a restaurant, acknowledge the work of someone. If you are on the street, talk to someone that you wouldn't normally talk to. If you are driving down the road, let someone in that has made an error in judgement, and is now worried that they'll miss their exit. When you see someone on the road, wave (ok, if you live in a metropolitan area, restrict that to your neighborhood so you don't look like a freak). Be the hero. Include it in everything you do. Be proud of it. Make a difference.
Wanting to be a hero.
There is another way, though. Be a hero. Strive to be the best that you can be. Don't justify your bad actions, but do the thing that you know that you should do. A very good friend of mine and I recently had a conversation about acts of good will. He believes that all acts of true goodness fit the true definition of altruism. I respect his opinion, but disagree slightly. I think most people who do something good feel something inside that is a reward. I think that's good stuff, because both parties are rewarded. If good things only come from a complete sense of selflessness, than the number of good acts that people perform will be reduced if not iliminated. We might find ourselves in a state of not willing to do something good, because it doesn't fit the criteria for altruism.
So, I ask that everyone do at least one heroic thing each week. I feel that it's acceptible to feel good about it. Maybe that feeling will grow, and build into a general behavior of doing good things. A word of caution: accept the feeling of doing something good as the reward (if you need one), don't expect it to be returned. Karma doesn't always respond. However, if you continue to try to be a hero, you will be remembered. One of my many heroes is my great-great aunt. Her name was Laura Pearl Yocham. The family called her Annie. She was a teacher to the core. She was a magnificent woman and the matriarch of our family until she passed on. I and a very special family member were with her when she took her last breath. As hard as it was for us, I think she appreciated that we were there. She was 98 years old, as I recall. She was strong, dignified, and caring. She was the only extend family I had when my family moved to Missouri, and one of the reasons we moved there. When we bought our farm, she helped us, and I think bought our first two pigs. One of which, was named Minnie Pearl (my pig). Some of her students continued to write her even up to her death. She had that kind of impact on people. As a result , I have given her the greatest honor that I have in my power to give. My daughter's name is Ann Marie Pearl Hockanson, and the name she goes by is Annie. That and taking over care of her cat are the greatest things in my power to give to sustain the great memory of a wonderful woman, one of my heroes.
I have other heroes, too. I've never been one to have great interest in sports or media folks. My heroes are like a couple I know that while in their mid 20's gave up all they knew. The man, a police officer, found that what he dealt with day-to-day was the sign of a degrading society that he didn't want to subject his children to. They had a daughter, who was born blind in one eye. The doctors told them that they shouldn't expect much from her. She would most likely be "slow". They refused to believe it. They encouraged and pushed her to be the best that she could be. She is currently one of the most brilliant people I know (another one of my heroes).
At any rate, this couple, faced with a future in an area that they didn't believe in, left. They left their known family and friends, in the face of scorn from people who said things like "I hope you know what you're doing". Yeah, that's supportive. They picked up and moved two-thousand miles away. No job. No understanding of what lay ahead, except that it must be better. They bought a farm with a house that the real-estate agent said the best thing they could do was light a match. They didn't do it. Their kids lived in a camper, and they set up a bed in one of the rooms, and set to work rebuilding the home. They did it. They made it work out of sheer determination. They worked as a family to build something out of nothing. The father and mother took jobs where they could and eventually found something permanent. Their kids grew up in an environment of work, trust, and dedication. They had experiences that few others could understand.
That was my mom and dad. My heroes. They don't have bachelor's degrees. They don't have high paying jobs, but they always told my sister and me that we would do something great. There was no question. My sister and I are both highly educated and successful. Granted, she's a liberal (just kidding, sis, I love you), but we have things to be proud of. The catalyst for our lives, in my opinion, began with that hard decision of our parents to move to some obscure place in Southwest Missouri. Be assured, this story will be passed down through my Annie, and her kids, and hopefully beyond.
So, the reason for this post? Go be a hero. If you have kids, it's actually a simple thing. Be there. Be at school. Be outside with them. Show them something wonderful that they don't know about. Go beyond this, too. Make someone at work feel good about themselves. If you go to to a restaurant, acknowledge the work of someone. If you are on the street, talk to someone that you wouldn't normally talk to. If you are driving down the road, let someone in that has made an error in judgement, and is now worried that they'll miss their exit. When you see someone on the road, wave (ok, if you live in a metropolitan area, restrict that to your neighborhood so you don't look like a freak). Be the hero. Include it in everything you do. Be proud of it. Make a difference.
Wanting to be a hero.