It probably doesn't suprise anyone that I am sometimes considered arrogant. In my defense, this usually happens at precisely the same time that people find out that I can put those three letters after my name: Ph.D. I hear others make comments around work that are considered 'being open and honest,' but if they came from me would be followed with mutterings of 'arrogant ass.' Whatever. Then there are times like now. Why would people not expect me to come off arrogant when surrounded by so many idiots?

Years ago, every now and then some SPAMmer will latch on to one of our large aliases and send crap to a huge number of people. Intelligent folks just delete it and move on. However, there are the idiot-masses that respond to everyone with a request to be removed from the alias. Every employee has the ability to go into an on-line tool and remove themselves from aliases, although there are some that are necessary for business that prohibit removal. This hasn't been a problem in quite a while since the company's infrastructure has developed and employed fairly robust anti-SPAM software as well as limitations to the alias that keep people outside the internal network from using the alias, and denying replies to the alias. However, recently it appears one large alias was overlooked.

The SPAM came in, and I deleted it. Of course, one idiot responded to everyone with the request to be removed. I shook my head, and deleted that one, too... knowing that the avalanche was about to begin. Sure enough, it turns out idiots are like lemmings. Once one person publicly asked to be removed, a hundred others do the same. One of our senior executives, and a brilliant person, sent out an e-mail in an attempt to stop the tidal wave by indicating that there was no need to reply to everyone, or request removal from the alias. Shortly after he sent that, ten more requests filed into my inbox. To frustrate me further, many of these people claim to be executives of whatever, and one was even claiming to be a 'software specialist.'

As a company that is in the business of making money, I did some quick calculations about what this cost. There are about 10,000 people on this alias (probably more). It takes on average about five seconds for the one to see the e-mail, and delete it. So, for every moronic response to the SPAM, about 50,000 seconds of company time are burned. That's almost 14 hours. Given what Human Resources considers company cost per head, that is a loss of over $1000 each occurrence. One hundred responses? That's $100k freakin' down the tubes.

Freakin' get a clue people...
Hmmmph...

It has taken a long time, but I finally got it. I hope everyone gets it. I hope everyone follows it. The ellusive it is the combination of words and action. I love to use words, and do a better job when I have the time to create and think about the written word, as opposed to the spoken word. The spoken word is so often relayed under pressure of the emotion of the moment. Time is not allowed to think about the other person's position, especially if the other party takes a moment's silence to indicate a lack of concern or a myriad of other emotions/thoughts. Words are powerful tools to relay emotion and dedication. However, without follow up, they lose impact, and with that goes a lack of belief and respect for the words the speaker uses. That part I've believed for a long, long time. I've been on the other side, in my opinion (feel free to disagree).

I don't always say exactly what I feel or think, especially if those words are needed immediately. The pressure of that commitment to the words is a lot to me, and I will refrain from saying what I need to until I have settled on a decision that I believe I can act on. By the way, swear words are still words, and are very usefull if used sparingly. I say this because I'm about to use one. Words that are used only when needed, regardless of the social stigma associated with them relay the importance of the sentence. When I was about twelve, I had outgrown my bike. I canabalized an adult bike and was trying to make the parts work to extend the life of my poor Huffy. I was in the backyard, and I couldn't get something to fit no matter how hard I tried. Out of frustration in the moment, I yelled out, "well, SHIT!" Frankly, I felt better. I attacked the problem from a different angle, and got it to work. After finishing witht he mutation of my bike, I put things away and went inside. My mom was working in the kitchen, and was the only one around. With grace and patience, she said, "I heard what you said out there.... (pause) I don't like you using those words." I felt horrible, but that was all that was said. I accepted the crassness of swear words, but remembered the relief I felt when I expunged that word from my stress. Yes, they are horrible, but they serve a purpose. And I've come to learn that they are just words. Despite the dictionary definition, words are our expressions of thoughts and emotions in an attempt to make ourselves or others come to grips with the topic of hand. Sometimes we need to hear our own expression to deal with it. That's why we talk to ourselves. Don't lie, we all talk to ourselves.

That point is critical. Our words describe our thoughts and emotions. In The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy there is a side story (there are many) where someone says something they didn't mean, and says nevermind. Unfortunately, there is a rift in time and space and the words travel far, far away and are uttered during a conversation with two different nations. In the language of those people these words are the worst insult one could give, and they go to war for years. Finally, they discover that the words weren't uttered by the delegates, but from Earth. They send fleets of space ships to wage war on Earth. They travel years to reach us and as it turns out, they are so small compared to us that they are eaten by a small dog. That series is loaded with wonderful reflections on life. The point is that our words need to be chosen with forethought, and our actions have to reflect it.

My problem? I tend to leave the words out thinking that the actions will describe my words without saying them. Unfortunately, that is damaging as well. One person's perception of action may be interpreted by the recipient completely differently. A grand gesture may be interpreted as a mundane task, and completely unaccepted. Both the words and the actions must be in line. I know that I fail at this sometimes, and I regret it. I try to apologize when it happens. As crazy as it sounds, it is my romantic relationships that have brought this concept into stark reality. Despite my attempts to express through action in the abscence of words, I trust the words that I hear. Words are more used than action in today's society. In relationships, it becomes more pronounced. In relationships you put your emotions and psyche on the line. You are completely exposed and nothing is hidden. This is where I learned that words and actions have to be in concert, or there really isn't anything there.

You can't tell me, "I love you, and would do nothing to hurt you. I could never cheat on you," and then tell me, "I've slept with five other guys in the last six months." You can't tell me, "yes I want to marry you. I want it more than anything in the world, and I would never hurt you," and then say, "I'm not sure I ever loved you. I just loved the new lifestyle that you provided me." You can't say, "I love you, and don't think anyone could ever reach the bar you've set for what a relationship should be like," and then tell me all the wonderful things you and your new boyfriend are doing. It's not a matter of disagreeing with the progression of things. It's that I have finally realized that words and actions relay the true expression of what people are. It sounds so simple. I don't know why it's taken me 36 years to get to this realization. Friends and family are more subtle with it, in most cases, but the same thing applies. Words and actions. Sometimes we screw up. That's ok. But apologies are in order if the words or actions are to be trusted again. Whoever said that it was the thought that counts was full of shit (remember my earlier comment on profanity).

Then again, maybe I just have reached a point where trust is not to be given to anyone. That's ok, too. Animals have a great method, especially dogs. If a dog will allow another dog to sniff its butt, they are friends for life and nothing else matters. No, I'm not sniffing anyone's butt....

Words and actions. Make sure I do BOTH...

Yes, Meera, I know that fairy tales are riddled with misogynistic descriptions of women. I didn't look at it until you brought it up, but you are completely right, and I'm sorry. Obviously, too many fairy tales were written by angry men... probably men that really wanted to date much younger women, and save them from the bitterness of angry women. I agree that that was probably not an idealistic desire, I mean what kind of man wants to date a woman ten years or more younger than him? Oh wait, my last wife was nine years younger than I. I foolishly thought we complimented each other beautifully. Apparently, I was not mature enough to recongize the problems that would arise either. Oh well, I digressed before I even got started. However, I stand by my thought that my young wife was a perfect match for me. Puzzle pieces that simply matched and enhanced each other's shortcomings...

My issue today? I've written about this before... Sociological behavior is essentially an underdamped system in electrical engineering terms. It's like a pendulum. It swings one way, then the other, and eventually comes to an even middle. Unfortuantely, I live in the time frame when men are the enemy, especially white men in my age group. Advertising agencies have jumped on a particular wagon. As usual, they are behind the times. In some relationships, and especially in many relationships twenty years ago, women made all the purchasing decisions for the household. As a result, men are portrayed as morons in commercials. We don't know how to do anything except club a baby seal over the head. Three times today, I heard a commercial on the radio that made the husband look like an idiot. The man in this commercial actually asked 'what is the phone number for 1800flowers?' They banter back and forth with her disbelief that he really doesn't know the number. By the time it ended, I wanted to vomit out the window of my truck... preferabaly on the window of a woman that was laughing at this commercial. It is my sincere hope that women would be irritated at the prospect that their partner could be portrayed like this.

Yes, I'm a single father. I make all the decisions on purchasing. I assure you that if I have the desire to buy flowers for someone, it won't be from them... I recognize that the world is populated by women by over 50%. I wouldn't support something that disrespected my spouse/partner like this, why do advertising agencies think this would work? Especially FLOWERS! I'm fairly certain, although I don't have statistics to back it up, that most flowers are bought by men. Lord knows I've bought far more than any girlfriend I've ever had, then again, I'm single. Maybe that's a sign. What happened to being supportive of our partner's skills? Why do we get such a kick out of trashing them? Why not a commercial that simply says, 'you know your girlfriend would appreciate flowers, why not call such-n-such number and send her a bouquet that you design?' Maybe that's what I should do. I'll set up a floral shop that caters to men. Hmmmm.....

Epilogue: Stop buying into the idea that one sex has more power than the other. We have troubles communicating because we have different gears. I'm actually going to refuse to buy something that advertises men as morons, and I'm going to refuse to buy something that makes women look like morons. My daughter is brilliant, and she will not grow up thinking that sex makes a difference in ability.

I need to work for an advertising agency. But, they won't like me... Then again, I'll make them money...

Stepping down from the stump...

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Fourth! I hope you are grillin' and chillin' with the family, but most of all, while the fireworks are going off, and you are indulging in great food, I hope you will remember what this day means... Memorial Day is a day for fallen heroes, but today we remember everything we've done, and think about what we have to do to continue to thrive as a country.

We seem to struggle so much these days to be proud. September 11, 2001 gets brought up so many times as a defense for everything going on that people put it out of their minds as just an excuse. I can only imagine what it was like for those who lost family or were impacted by the proximity of the events. However, I do know what it did to me. You see, my fiance and I were to be married on September 15. We had dear friends at our home, and when the news struck, airplanes were grounded for obvious reasons. I sat glued to the TV while people went around me doing their own thing. My friend Jenni came up to me and asked me in a concerned voice if I was ok. Yes, I was ok. I probably wasn't, but I didn't know what to say. My fiance came to me and asked if we should cancel the wedding. I didn't know. Other than my friends that had arrived early, only my parents were flying in for the wedding. I had a couple of important family members in the area, and my friends from work would be there. I just didn't know. She looked at me, and said that the people that did this wanted us to change our plans and behaviors. We weren't going to do that. We were going to go through with this because it was what we planned. No one else could change that. I don't think I loved my young bride more than at that moment. It tied for when I saw her give birth to our daughter...

My parents couldn't make it to the wedding. They heard the whole thing on the phone carried by the minister. It was the day of our wedding that I got confirmation that our flights would go as scheduled for our honeymoon. She was very excited when she heard the news (third party, of course, I couldn't see her because it would jink the marriage...) Our trip was covered with security. People with guns walked around the airports that we visited. We had to evacuate LAX because someone left a suitcase unattended. It was practically a Police State.

I only tell this story to say that I've been affected by the conflicts that we see in the world today. Yes, it's been a several years, but I have a gifted memory. I don't forget this when I read the news these days. I know people are conflicted about what we are doing. Speak out. Voice your opinions. You have that ability because of this day. In fact, you have that ability not just because of this day back in 1776, but even more so because of a day that happened after that. We are a country built on revolution. We have the power to speak our minds without retribution. That right was not common in the world before we came to be. My knowledge of history is very small, and I only know of a few countries that are in existence due to rebellion that have worked. My friend Sergiu didn't get his doctorate until after the dictator was thrown out in Romania. The dictator's wife didn't want Ph.D.s (she was one), and kept a cap on the number awarded. His family moved here well after this all happened, and his eldest son just graduated with his Masters from Columbia University (congratulations! Annie's namesake also graduated from there!) His family's story is a great American success story.

My friend Noe would be upset with me calling us 'Americans". But he, too, has a wonderful story. I'd like to write it someday. He and his sister fled El Salvador years ago. His sister was targeted for execution because of her vocal disagreement with the El Salvadorian politics. Their dad was a senator, and this kind of influence apparently needed to stop. Noe picked flowers for a living when he arrived, and rode a bike 10 miles each way to learn English. I know him because he is now an engineer at Sun. His sister has a thriving business of her own, and his parents have retired in California. They didn't take anything from other Americans. They worked, and now provide working opportunities for other Americans. I am so proud to know their family. They are wonderful people.

Military conflict continues to be more and more difficult, as it should be. Continue to raise your voices. Print those bumper stickers. Just don't forget that we live in a great country that allows us to do that. My dad was in the Marines, and received his discharge shortly before Vietnam. I have an uncle that went to Vietnam, and an ex-uncle-in-law that went, and I don't think has yet recovered from what he saw. When I was young, I planned on going into the service. I thought it was what I was supposed to do. I felt guilty for not doing it until my sophopmore year of college. I was working at a pharmacy. Every day the lead recuiter from the Army came in to buy a soda or something. We talked all the time, and one time I told him that I was going to quit school, come down to see him and enlist. He laughed, and told me he wouldn't let me. "The best thing you can do for your country is to keep doing what you're doing." Thank you, sir. I salute you with complete respect as a civilian. Thank you for this confirmation.

Keep up the fight. Don't give up. Also, don't assign it to one person or philosophy. I no longer speak to a dear friend because when her party lost the last election she felt she couldn't talk to me anymore... I'm a republican. And, yes, Meera, you can continue to chastise me for being such. I love it. We are all allowed to have our choices. Thank God for America...

Oh, if you want to investigate our real rebellion, do your own search and look at the Articles of Confederation and what happened after that. Sometimes it only takes a few people to make a long-lasting difference in the world...



Proud American....

I have no problem dealing with ignorance. Sometimes, I struggle with stupidity, but I absolutely loathe rudeness. I hate it when I see it in myself, and always try to be polite, even if it isn't what I'm thinking at the time. Couple rudeness with laziness, and you have a death-row sentence in my book.

I often comment on how my buying experiences in Boulder Creek are typically much better than when I go over the mountains. I confess that there is a place where I have an occasional exception. The gas station in Boulder Creek employs this young person to work the store. I can't say young lady, because lady carries with it a certain definition of character that doesn't apply here. This person is generally very rude, and is typically on the phone while working. When I go in to pay for my fuel, I just shudder if she's there.

I took a break around lunch-time today to get fuel for the truck. I was running on empty, and decided I'd better take care of it. I went in to give my card to the cashier. By the time I break down to get fuel, I know I'm going to need more than the automatic system will let me have. So, I always take the card in. Furthermore, the local station just did one of those irritating things where they charge different prices for 'credit' and 'cash'. It really irritates me, but I started using my card as an ATM card to reduce the price even that measly four cents a gallon. I was relieved that the Irritating One wasn't behind the counter, handed over my card, and specifically requested a fill-up on ATM. I went out and filled up with diesel, the highest priced fuel at the freakin' pump. I was further miffed to find out that a few hours ago the price of diesel went up six cents/gallon.

I went in to finish paying, and felt that familiar rise in blood pressure when I noticed the Irritating One was in the store. Unfortunately, it takes a long time to pump 34 gallons... Still, the other person was in there as well, so I figured it would be ok. Unfortunately, she had accidentally hit credit card when ringing me up, and was struggling to figure out how to fix it. That was fine. I was patient, I just wanted it done correctly. It was at this time that I felt the need to get up on my stump.

In an effort to expedite the transaction, the cashier I had been dealing with asked for help from the Irritating One. She came over to the register, looked at it, extended my card to me, and said, "You're just going to have to pay the Credit price." Normally, I would have just said fine, and moved on. There was someone standing behind me in line, and I don't like to negatively impact someone else's plans. Unfortunately, seeing that look of unconcerned disinterest on the Irritating One's face made me go against my normal procedure. "No. I pumped 34 gallons of fuel, and I don't want to pay the credit price." She gave a giant sigh of disgust from her copious expanse of a body, and informed me, "it really isn't that much difference, and your bank is going to charge you that price anyway." Who are you to tell me what makes a difference? If it isn't that much money, then open up your wallet and give me the difference out of your own pocket. "Actually, my bank allows me a number of ATM transactions each month without a fee." With a look of disgust, she starts pounding on the keys, and the friendlier cashier comments happily that it's going to be taken care of, and now she sees how to do it.

I punch in my ATM number, and hit enter. I wait for a while, and the Irritating One says, "You are going to have to hit enter for it to finish." I did hit enter, it apparently didn't take. By the way, have you ever considered eating some rice cakes and fruit? And looking for another job? I looked at the total, and knew that they charged me the credit fee, even though it ultimately went through as a cash transaction. They both assured me that it went through as cash. However, the Irritating One's expression indicated that she was lying. By now, at least four people were behind me, and my $1.20 or whatever wasn't worth arguing... for now. I'll be discussing this with the manager the next time I see her.

I really don't care if people are rude and lazy. If that's your thing, go for it. However, don't take a job where you are supposed to supply service to customers. Find something else to do.



Blood...Pressure...Returning...To...Normal...

Yes, I love technology. I love the things that it enables me to do (like this), and I love being a part in the growth of tech, and imagine what it will be like when Annie is my age. Throughout history there have been areas where technology was abused. Many great technological marvels have been taken by someone and turned into tools of war. One of the earliest examples would be the casting technology developed by asian monks some fifteen hundred years ago. They were very skilled at smelting and casting iron to make bells for religious purposes. They also had developed a wonderful and inspiring powder that could be mixed and ignited to create wonderful pyrotechnic displays. European travellers came back from Asia with the technology for building large iron bells and fireworks. They then started building cannon.

Now my complaint today is pale in comparison. In California, and I believe in most states, there is a 'no-call' policy regarding telemarketing. Telemarketers can not call unless they have permission, which usually comes in the form of having done business with an individual in the past. This is why I still get calls from finance companies, but it has died off... Another loophole is that parties can call you if they are working as 'public interest' groups.

Now, I can deal with receiving calls several times each year the Highway Patrol, Santa Cruz Police Department, Santa Cruz County Sherrif, Widows of Law Enforcement, Boulder Creek CSI, Aunt Fran's Local Police-Like Support Group, or whatever the numerous law-enforcement agency support groups are. My only gripe with them is: don't try to use guilt on me to support your cause. It doesn't work, and in fact, causes me to go the other way. It's like Annie asking me for something, and if I'm unsure she throws a tantrum. That cinches the 'no'. The real abuse has come of late as a result of today being Voting day.

I have lost count of the number of calls I've received from various groups telling me what to think and do. The scripts being read on the other side of the phone line are often insulting and loaded. Calls like:
'Do you love your children?'
'Well, yeah. Of course I do, well I would if I had more than one, so I might have to say no. But, I love my child.' (I can't help it, they bring out the smartass in me.)
'Well, then you must vote like we say!'

Geez, I really hope this tactic doesn't work on the majority of voters. To make matters worse, when I respond in my wiseacre fashion, there really isn't anyone there to hear me. You see, the real abuse of the technology is that these are all recorded messages. I even got one from the Governator the other day. I actually did enjoy shouting at one of the calling machines last week, but it's not near as satisfying if I can't irritate the person on the other end to the same level they have irritated me.

Is there a study somewhere that says that this works? I suspect that telemarketing was successful strictly out of the numbers. If only one percent of the calls bite, you need to call a million people to make it worth while. I don't see how this mass calling regarding voting issues amounts to anything except a waste of money, and... well... irritating folks like me. Hmmm... maybe that's the goal! Maybe the morons calling are actually from the other side of the issue, and they know that they will push us to the disagree with the point of the call. Wow, maybe they are smarter than I thought they were...

At any rate. Stop abusing the freakin' phone. And if you are going to call me to talk about an issue, I welcome your call as long as you follow a few requirements: 1) be a real person, 2) know who I am, and what my living situation is, 3) respect my opinion, and listen to it as I will listen to yours, 4) don't insult me by trying to use loaded arguements, and 5) be polite.


The number you have dialed is no longer in service...

That's right. Annie fell asleep, and I'm tired of looking at schematics. I'm not reacting to an irritating trend (or two) that came up today.

A moron, I mean, a man called me today. He was soliciting, but given the No-Call plans in place, he couldn't call to solicit. He had to call to ask if someone else could call to solicit. I'm usually pretty good with folks who are doing this. My last wife worked for a while as a phone soliciter, and after listening to her stories, I've learned to be patient and accepting. They may not want to do it, but are just trying to keep a job. Then again, I'd find another job, just like my wife found another boyfriend...

Anyway, this poor putz started out on the wrong foot:

Him: Hello, is Mrs. So-n-So there?
Me: No. She hasn't lived here in three and a half years.
Him: Oh. Well, I'm calling on behalf of (some crappy company looking for your money). I'm not asking for anything from you today, I'd just like to talk to the man or woman of the house.
Me: Ok, but you are off to a really bad start asking for my ex-wife.
Him: (Pause and then laugh as if I've said something funny - I didn't think I had.) Well, can I speak to the man of the house, then?
Me: You are! What can I do for you (irritation dripping from every word).
Him: Oh. I'm calling on behalf of Crap-Company. People are getting tired of Hollywood continuing to make movies that don't show family values, and have an increase of violence and other content that is not suitable for children. Would you agree?
Me: (I know where this is going.) Sure, what the heck.
Him: Well, we are calling parents and grandparents with children and grandchildren that are under the age of thirteen to talk about measures that we are taking to force Hollywood to produce movies that have more family values. Parents have to spend so much time monitoring TV and movies to make sure they are acceptable.

Let me stop right there for a moment. I'm not proud of it, but the guy hit such a nerve in the first few sentances that I believe my accent left me. I probably sounded more like an electronic voice given how sharply I ended each word. What the heck is up with marketing/societal expectations? I answered the phone. Where was the need to talk to the woman of the house, even if there were one? Aren't fathers as much involved in what is absorbed by their children? Is it really the societal norm that fathers are disconnected from their children, and mothers are completely in tune? If so, I very proudly know a lot of fathers that are not the norm. People need to stop suggesting to me that fathers are ineffectual parents or I may have to stop being polite to a heck of a lot more people.

Let's continue, shall we?

Him: ... We believe that we can all make a difference and push Hollywood to make the kind of movies that would be acceptable and portray good family values. As I've said, I'm not asking you for anything. I would just like your ok to have someone call you at an opportune time to talk about this some more. Would that be alright with you?
Me: Sure, but I don't think it will do you any good. I completely disagree with what you are suggesting. You seem to indicate
Him: Ok, thank you for your time. (Click.)

Bastard. I had to listen to him all that time, and I didn't even get to rant. I have bad news. Ranting here is not near as satisfying as it would have been to get into a debate with this jerk. Perhaps one of my three readers agrees with the 'gentleman'. So, I'll elaborate on where I stand. You don't have to agree. That's fine, because you don't raise my child.

I may have missed a few words of the conversation in my repeat above, but the gist of the conversation is that they were eventually going to ask me to help fund a group that would produce 'better' films for kids. He even went so far as to say at some point that, "we are not talking about censorship!" Granted, he wasn't. I found the foundation on line, and they seem to have good interests in mind. I'll save my rant on non-profit organizations for another time (you may have to ask). However, I can't help but think they have completely gone after the wrong thing. You don't need to push for better films or TV! You don't need to pool money together to fight Hollywood! Stop trying to take over a parent's role by making it easy! Parenting isn't easy, but it's rewarding. There is a very easy way to stop the media from making programs we don't want our children to watch: stop watching. Do I need to say it again? Stop watching.

Hollywood doesn't make these shows because they think it's a great thing to do. They make them, because the shows make money. The shows make money, because people watch them. If a show has no audience, it makes no money, and it goes away. We see advertising on a show that makes it look compelling. If you are reading this, you have access to the internet. Check the show out. If it looks like it might be wrong for kids, go see it first. How dare 'they' offer to take this responsibility over for parents. I'm an adult, and I freakin' loved 'South Park: the Movie.' I almost cried, I laughed so hard. Blame me for a sick sense of humor, but rest assured that my daughter will not see South Park when under my watch. That's the key. We are parents. We are guardians. We guard. No amount of money given to some organization is going to make me relax my watch on what my daughter can watch. First concept? Turn the damned TV off. When did it become a life right to watch TV?

We live in a (mostly) capitalist society. Love it. Hate it. It's ours. Money makes a difference in our lives, and we are supposed to earn it. Responsibility for our children is the last thing we can give up. Schools are not there to educate our kids and make them better people. TV certainly isn't. Parents are. Turn off the TV. There are over 6.5 billion people on this planet. Chances are that only a handful each year will do something in a day of the entire year that will have such a profound impact on the world that it would excuse neglecting their children. That person is not me. Is it you? If not, what are you doing with your time?



Eagle-eyed...

No, this isn't a whining session. I decided to expound a little more on something I started yesterday...

I discussed this with my buddy Rodney some time ago, and felt I should "immortalize" it in my on-line ramblings. I think it is a genetic need for most animals to be in conflict with their surroundings, and work to overcome it. Maybe that's my definition of evolution. It's not that we (as one of those animal species) want conflict, or in some Sado-Masochistic way enjoy it. It's the sense of achievement that comes from overcoming adversity. Think about it. I don't think it's just Americans that root for the underdog, it's everyone. And it's not about beating our "betters", it's about attacking problems and creating with our own brains and two hands a solution. This goes way beyond the crap about not knowing happiness unless one knows sadness. This is about solving problems. In all the animal kingdom, we (humans - yes, I count myself among them) have the greatest capacity for overcoming problems. There is nothing we can't overcome. If I might be so bold, I have one of those professions that epitomizes this. My discipline doesn't make computers faster, less costly, less power-consuming, or anything like that. We have one job: we make sure that the products can be sold anywhere in the world by making sure that by design the machines meet worldwide regulations on a number of issues that are inherent in all computer systems. The folks that make computers work have the wonderful gift of looking at datasheets and schematics and seeing that Point A connects to Point B, and backup Point C is available to improve the product. Most of what we do is not on a schematic, and is often called Black Magic by those who don't understand it. And we love it. We are a different breed, and take great pride out of walking up to a system and determining what causes a problem and finding a solution. It's actually a very thankless job, but we don't do it for the thanks. We do it because we love to solve problems. We are grateful for the problems that arise, because we get the most incredible rush from making things work in the face of incredible odds.

Ok, maybe I'm going into an area that makes people's eyes glaze. Who cares about board layout-files and schematics? I'll give the analogy I gave my friend. Tolkien is a great dog (where did that come from? be patient - I'm long winded, but I have a point). He has a great and loving personality, and is generally happy. While I was talking to my friend, Tolkien went out on the driveway and started doing one of his favorite things. He has allergies. In fact, he seems to be allergic to about every sort of pollen in nature, and his skin itches all the time. Yes, I'm sure it's annoying. But does he sit on his bed with a look of pain and anguish and just complain about it? No. He has found a solution. One that makes him very happy. He goes out onto the driveway, lies down, and sticks all four feet into the air. He weighs in at about 160 pounds or better, and uses all that weight to bounce around on the pavement. He wiggles one way, and then the other, twisting his body the whole time as he scratches his whole back. Is he upset that he has to go to these lengths to achieve relief? Not in the least. He is out there groaning and moaning in a way that might not be suitable for all viewers. He has found a solution to a problem that makes him so profoundly happy, he might not ever experience that kind of happiness if he weren't faced with the initial problem: his back itched.

Personally, I think this is why so many people who have reached a stage of affluence and comfort turn towards other tasks. Some of those tasks are suspect regarding their actual importance in the grand scheme of things. When we lose that part of conflict in our lives that we have to look for it, we find it. That's why people started petitioning against the American flag being strung across overpasses after 9.11. They had nothing else to fight, and were upset that they couldn't legally put up signs in the same area for a yard sale. Yes, I'm sure I'll tick someone off if I go further into this, but I feel comfortable saying that if Robert Redford had the same issues in his life that I look forward to conquering he wouldn't have gone on record as saying he would move out of the United States if we elected Bush again. There are plenty of other Hollywood and Music Industry representatives that I think the same about. I'm sure if I didn't have a time-consuming life of work, remodelling, and child-rearing, I'd be on a stage somewhere spouting words of wisdom, and trying to convince the general population. In the meantime, I'll just spell out my rants on the web for the few people who might stumble across them. I might get an "I understand" or a "your full of (excrement)", but it's my dime...


I love it when I hear people talk about challenges rather than problems. Granted, I hate it when they do it because it's politically correct, but love it when they say it from the heart. People talk about Eutopia and the idea that Heaven is a place where we have no problems. That might very well be the description of Hell if you spent too much time there. Whining, complaining, and bitching are just the stages we go through before we attack the problems, solve them, and feel the elation that comes from success. That's just what we do... That's why we need not just God or whatever diety or force one subscribes to, but we need the devil or various counterpart as well.


Philosophical...

Alright. I gripe about this sort of thing from time to time. Now, I'm really banning patronizing certain companies. Orbitz has ticked me off. I'm a single father, and even when I had my wife living here, I was very involved with all decisions that were made regarding our family life. I'm so tired of seeing advertisers imply that fathers/men are incompetent.

I'm back. Had to step away to get Colleen and Annie in the bathtub, and in the true nature of advertising with respect to fathers, I handed them a hair dryer...

Anyway, I'm sick of this. If I had enough money, I'd dedicate my finances to changing this portrayal. The Orbitz add shows a man, labeled as a "worker" of some sort, and a woman described as a worker and a mother balancing her life. Of course the woman comes out on top in the add, and the man, who is shown as incompetent from the time he crosses the screen, can't deliver. How come the man isn't shown as a worker and a father? Tell me I'm wrong. Is it really true that most fathers are not involved in their family's life? Regardless, I'm disgusted, and as the only decision maker in this family who decides where the money is spent, it won't be spent there...

Currently damaging myself with some inane task at the house that only a woman could do correctly...

Happy July 4th! Yeah, I'm a day early, but Annie's in bed, and I'm looking forward to sleep, so I thought I'd just go ahead and say it. Being a Californian now, I thought I'd preach a bit, too.

California is largely populated with people who protest against war and combat. I, too, hate war and combat. Mostly, I hate death and the idea of killing people. That said, I believe in fighting for our lives. I believe in supporting our military. I believe in backing our government. We don't always make the best choices, but I do believe we have the best intentions. I subscribe to the Dale Carneghie thinking that we all make decisions based on what we think is right. Very few people are actually motivated for "evil". I don't think that terrorists are doing what they do just to do the "wrong" thing, but rather what they think is right for them. Fine. Be prepared for a similar response.

When I was a foreign exchange student, a friend of mine asked me if I was the kind of American that thought my country was the best in the world. I was stunned for a moment. I thought everyone thought that their country was the best. I don't know about now, but I believe at that time Germans had been trained to be so ashamed that they couldn't think they had the best country. I politely said that I didn't think that any American believed that this country wasn't the best. I think with the recent turmoil I might have been wrong.

The disaster of September 11 had a tremendous impact on me. I spent two days in front of the television with tears in my eyes clinging to my daughter and my fiance'. We were to be married on September 15th, and she declared (much to my pride) that we were not going to let terrorists change the plans of our lives. I hear the words of what are now called "Liberals". I don't understand it. The mother of one of Annie's friends told me one time that she couldn't understand how I could have a Ph.D. and be a conservative. I laughed, thinking how could I be educated and not be.

The words Liberal and Conservative have had their meaning changed in the last 20 years or so. Maybe I'm not a Conservative, nor am I a Liberal. I believe in power to the locality not to the federal government. That's how I'm a Conservative. I'm disgusted with how California has screwed up its finances to the point that we are closing down schools. I don't believe it is a matter of inadequate funds, but rather abuse of the funds. Alright, let that go for a moment. After 9-11 we saw an incredible response that showed patriotism. I would drive to work and see people on overpasses waving flags and thousands of cars honking in support. People were hanging flags everywhere. Pride. Support. Love. Then I find out that people are protesting the hanging of flags on overpasses, because it's "illegal". You can't hang a garage sale sign on a public facility, why can you hang a flag? Did this happen anywhere other than California? I was shocked, dismayed, and so angry that I think I would have hung up those protesters by a flag from the overpass...

I'm proud of my father's and other family members' participation in our military. My own impatience prohibited my own involvement. As a sophomore in college, I worked the front counter of a pharmacy in Rolla. One of my "regulars" was the recruiter for the Army. Their office was just down the street. He was a great guy, and we talked at length about life, the military, women (my favorite), and everything. One time, after a particularly bad time at school, I told him I was just going to join the military. He laughed. He said, "I won't let you. You will better serve this country doing what you are doing." He might have meant that I was a scrawny tall goof that couldn't succeed in the military, but he added some words that I won't repeat. They are personal, and I took them to heart. I try to be the best that I can at what I do. I hope that satisfies him, and fulfills what he believed.

On this Fourth of July, be proud. Be strong. The pendulum needs to swing back from the post-Kennedy days. I love the constant arguments about government. That's what makes this country what it is. We are allowed, no, encouraged to disagree, to comment on the government. It is a necessary part of our future. But, please, don't disrespect our country. It is the best we have, and in my opinion, the best in the world. Where else could a farm boy grow to the point of getting a Doctorate in Electrical Engineering and move 2,000 miles from everything he ever knew and make a go of it.

So, on this celebratory weekend, be proud... be supportive... take pride in the fact that you can voice your opinion... fight for what you believe (even if you disagree with me on policy)... and never, never lose the will to fight. Love your country. If not, you have two choices: 1) Run for office and initiate change, 2) Leave.


Proud American