... and procrastination really makes it worse! I just finished cleaning out the master bath and closet in preparation for finishing those projects. Actually, I just got out of the shower. That was required before I sat down to whine and complain. If you are thinking about a remodeling project that involves any more than painting the walls, stop. Light a candle, turn on the gas and get out. Poison a nearby tree and encourage it to crush your house. Or, less devious, move.

Serious remodeling uncovers all sorts of problems that you would rather not know about. You will also lose respect for builders in general. They probably aren't all that way, but every builder that has ever touched my house was a lazy bastard that didn't know what he was doing. I would probably have to include myself, and exclude my father and my ex-father-in-law. In case you need an example, when I ripped out the nasty carpet in my master bedroom, I found a hole where the original floor register was located. Instead of cutting some 2x4 and sub floor pieces to fill the area (which they had because they were extending the room), some genius decided to cut a coffee can, hammer the metal flat, and then hammer that to the floor. I am not exaggerating, there was a nail every 1/2 - 3/4 inches around the perimeter. They probably spent more time on that, then had they just used wood and did it right.

All sorts of things come out that require fixing that you didn't know about. That does not include the things you have to move to make the room more functional. Future viewers never know about these things. They just look and say, 'wow, those are nice faucets!' Really? Yeah, that took a lot of work. I had to move all the plumbing access, re-do the dirt stack, plug the holes that the original builders left for rodents to get into the walls, replace the footings and mud sill where the shoddy/old plumbing leaked and rotted the structure...

Granted, my procrastination made this cleaning phase a lot worse. After the septic backed up, I didn't clean it and had to take a shovel to the dried toilet paper. I am an idiot. I suspect most people will simply respond with, 'we wouldn't have that problem.' You can't see my knowing grin and single raised eyebrow right now. You are fooling yourself if you don't think you have some if not all of these issues. Rot? We don't have rot! Of course not. But if your house is more than a few years old, your probability is high that you have wood around the toilet or under the shower/bath plumbing/drain that has experienced some water seepage, and mother nature has decided to use that to cultivate some bacteria and mold. They've eaten some of the wood and it is now soft, spongy, and can be picked apart by your bare hands. But, you don't have rot.

My procrastination has been based not only on a lack of funds, but a mental state that would not allow me to tackle the inevitable. I have cables hanging down from the old installation that should be off, but are they? I have one cable that was left in the wall after the last dumbass remodeled that had the last three feet wrapped in electrical tape. That should be disconnected, but after I found the cable under the deck that was treated the same way, and has spent the last twenty years slowly shorting out and evaporating the copper for five inches back into the sheathing, I can't be sure.

Then we have the reason that a shower was required. It's one thing to pull out old insulation and have those itchy fibers land on your skin, it's even worse when it is accompanied by showers of rodent droppings. Yeah, I know. You don't have that problem. Rodents have the enviable ability to squeeze into unimaginable locations. I read somewhere that even their skulls can flex. The only rodent that I will tolerate is the bat, which also lives in my attic and makes 'contributions' on the insulation. If you live in an area that can have rodents, you have them. Maybe they are not as bad as they are here in the mountains, but you have them. Not all of those noises you hear in the dead of night are 'just the house settling.'

So, the dust is settling in the room right now from the vigorous sweeping. Once that's done, I will sketch some things on the floor, cut a hole for easier access to the plumbing (thank you, Dad, for that suggestion) and figure out what the next step is. I need to move the doorway to the closet, and I think I am going to have to draw the design. The improved stairs (they are not new, that would require county permits) take up more room in the closet, and space is tight.

Isn't this what everybody plans to do on vacation?

That's right, I am a plumber. I have a toilet that is called a SuperFlush. It is actually scary the first time you are sitting on it, and reach around to flush. It uses an air chamber to force everything out. It rocks, but there is a catch. If you use too much toilet paper, it shoves it into the sewer line so hard that it creates a brick. I know, I am creating all sorts of bad images in your mind, but deal with it. That brick starts its journey to the septic tank happy as can be. "Oh look, a dead mouse! Wow! What is that? Hey, it look like I am going to go through a junction. Cool!" That's when it gets bad. I think that the junction where the line descends has a tendency to hang the brick. After some time, the entire line is clogged. This has happened several times since I put in that toilet. Annie and I have a routine for using the potty that reduces this possibility, but this weekend, I forgot to inform our guests about the excessive use of toilet paper. Sure enough, Monday morning after my shower I glanced into the bathroom-to-be and saw water and crap (literally) issuing from the pipe that will hopefully one day soon house a toilet. I refused to pay the plumber $125 for fifteen minutes of work any more. So, I went to work, and left early. I went to Home Despot and bought an electronic auger for $430. If I use it four times in the next two years, it will have more than paid for itself...

I won't go into the details of juggling work and cleaning out the line, but it was today before I was able to really put it to work. Actually, it was about an hour ago. Sure enough, once I had access to the sewer line, had the auger in place, and gave it power, it took two minutes before sludge was happily running into the septic system. It's strange the things that make me happy. After the last couple of days, I was elated to see crap running out of a pipe. I may have even done a little dance in the yard...

One more thing for which I don't need to hire outside help...

And yes, I am fine with the realization that the way things go for me, after spending this money it will never happen again...

Plumbers Butt not included...

That's right. I finally got the parts and made the bed. It was worse than I thought, of course. I put the cross braces in, and put the boxsprings on the frame. What the heck? Why is there so much room? That explains why they also sent me side braces. Those were wrong as well. I had to disassemble the bed and start over. In the end, though, the bed was put together. Annie and I slept in it that night. She thought it was pretty cool, although she thought it was pretty high off the ground. I think it is great, and for the first time since I messed up my shoulder working under the deck, I slept without waking up to pain.

One draw back, though, is that I still find myself going to the bathroom late at night. It is now a very long trip...

Well, at least this part is done. Oh yeah, I also have a big TV hanging on the wall. Annie is going to flip (she hasn't seen it).

Almost done...

Well, we've made some progress today on installing the trim. The windows are cased, and about half of the ceiling is "molded," but in a good way. I'm not willing to give pictures until we are a bit further along. Annie has been great. I've been cutting and treating the trim, and she has busied herself with her horses and her Play-Doh. In fact, one time I went in to rest my back and watch her. I was asked to leave. Apparently, it is a very private activity. We had to run down town for some more mineral spirits, and we talked about the remodeling crap project.

We started talking about the kitchen after a discussion about the fact that I'm not going to install carpet in another room in this house. "When do you think we'll finish the kitchen?" I answered that I didn't know, but joked that I hoped it was before she went off to college. She replied, "well, you'd better finish before I go to college, because you need my help!" You are absolutely right, my little pickle.

Struggling with the projects at hand...

I've been suckered again... At my last professional conference, I had five or six people tell me that I should be a Distinguished Lecturer for my professional society. One of them was a past president of the society, but then again, he was on my academic committee, so he might be biased. He did give me the most glowing recommendation, though. At any rate, I decided to fill out the application. After I had decided to do so, a coworker and friend told me that they were always begging for DLs, which took a bit of steam out of my sails. Typically being an optimist (about work), I decided to ignore that comment and found out last week that I had been approved as a Distinguished Lecturer. I actually hate the title, and would prefer something like Discussion Instigator.

At any rate, if I understand things correctly, I'm supposed to give at most six lectures each year for the next two years. It's only been a week, and I've had three requests for talks (Ontario, Ottawa, and Dallas). I confess that I actually wondered who would possibly want me to come and talk? Then again, I do pretty well as a presenter. The best presentation I ever gave was at the conference in 1996. I was a little nervous when my room changed to house more people. No worries, I had a blast. They are lucky I didn't do what I did when I taught trigonometry and force people to answer questions while I was talking. Then again, that was because the class was very early and I had some freshmen being hazed and they found themselves trying to catch z's in my class. I don't think so. I can be very entertaining, and I'm not afraid to use embarrassment to keep people focused.

At any rate, I'm really looking forward to it. I have made arrangements for Annie to stay at a friend's should I have to be gone for a day or two during the week, and I learn a lot from talking to other people about things. I think it will make me even better at my job. However, I'd better get busy creating the presentations. So far, all three have asked for hour-long talks. I can talk forever, but I should probably have slides that support my rambling. Then again, if they would like to hear, 'One time, at band camp...' I'm up for that, too.

Not Distinguished, Not a Lecturer, but very willing to talk...

It's not even 5:00 pm, and I'm already beat physically and mentally. I've tried all day to catch pneumonia, but I think I was unsuccessful. It stopped raining Friday, but I had to work, so I started working on constructing Annie's special Christmas present yesterday. It was a gorgeous day, but at 9:00 last night, I still hadn't finished. So, I started it again this morning. The 'project' is assembled, but there are some other things around it that I haven't finished. It's dark, and I ran out of some materials so I called it quits for today. I am on my fourth change of clothes in a futile attempt to stay warm and able to move without soaking wet clothes binding me up.

At any rate, it's really close to being done, and I'm finally ready to sit and eat something while I watch Gross Pointe Blank for the fifteenth time since my ex gave it to me. I have an orange cat laying next to me, and I'm finally warm.

You'll forgive me for not saying Merry Christmas, yet. My Christmas doesn't start happen until Thursday when Annie comes home. She is currently having a blast playing with her cousins and celebrating Christmas Number One. I can't wait until Thursday...

Early bedtime... definitely...

Murphy's Law: I had finally built the rough-in for the entry to the master bedroom. It was almost perfect, and more perfect than a rough-in needed to be. I was concerned, though that the header was too high. The genius at Home Despot told me that I should just make the rough-in one inch larger than the door. Well, ok. Using these dimensions, I was afraid that the gap above the door jam would be too high, and not allow me to mount the casing. So, I went on line and found the door manufacturer, and after weeding through tons of useless information, found the dimensions for the rough in. The height should be two inches taller than the door. Excellent, I had that. Unfortunately, the width should be two inches wider as well. And what's this note? If the door has an astrigal, which mine will/do, the opening should be two and a half inches wider. Crap.

Silver Lining: At least I found out now, and could fix it before I picked up the doors.

Murphy's Law: I ripped the 2x4 out on the right, and it came out without too much destruction. While pulling the nails left in the sill plate, which happened to both be into a large knot, my good crow's foot snapped. The nails didn't budge, but my almost 1/4" thick steel claw snapped in two.

Silver Lining: I have another crow's foot, and the wound on my hand from flying metal will heal and blend in with the rest of my scars.

Murphy's Law: While ripping out the 2x4 on the left, the sill plate completely disintegrated. I knew that there was some rot from 20 years of water damage at the corner of the room, but didn't think it had extended this far. Five feet of the wall's base needed to be removed.

Silver Lining: This wall doesn't support much weight, and I was able to remove all the rotted wood, build up the damaged floor, and put a new sill in. I finished rebuilding the rough in without further problems. I even felt good enough about it that I put in the rough in for the bathroom door, and put a sill and a stud in where the old door was. The door has been moved so many times in that wall that most of the top of the wall is header...

Murphy's Law: My back was killing me so I decided to make use of those wonderful jets in the bathtub. I climbed in to a steaming hot bath, and turned the jets on. I had some soap in the water, and only had about five minutes of jet activity before the suds had climbed so high I thought I was going to fill the whole bathroom.

Silver Lining: I yelled for Annie to come and see, and we spent the rest of my bath time making funny hair and beards on Daddy. Not a bad end to the day.
Bite my derriere, Murphy...

I got started on the french doors as soon as I got up. I stained them last night, but I hadn't gotten to sealing. Unfortunately, my first task was cleaning. Word to the wise: don't stain wood in the dark. I had stain all over the astrigal on the outside of the doors. Fortunately, it came off with that difficult but useful formula known as elbow grease. I went ahead and began sealing the wood part of the doors with teak oil. I'm especially fond of penetrating oil finishes. I just like the look.

The difference is evident in the following pictures, and I'm actually very pleased with the color.

In the light of day, I saw some areas that need to be improved, but I think I can do it later. Right now, I’m just concerned with sealing the doors against the possible impact of dust and moisture. I think that has been done. Oh yeah, and the hardware is on the door. I just need the right hinges…

The only difficult of the day was Lilo bolting out the doors as I was working. The little turd ran under the deck, and I didn’t see him until I was ready to get Annie. I caught a ride with the neighbors so I could pick up the motorcycle from Santa Cruz, and was very concerned about him in my absence. It was with a great feeling of relief that I saw him peek out from under the deck, and he is safely sleeping off his adventure.

Next comes the rough-ins for the bathroom and bedroom doors…

So much to do...

I've posted a number of times about the trials of remodeling a bathroom. I wanted to wait until it was completely finished to make this post, but who am I kidding? I will always see things that need to be tweaked, and the camera is kind about not showing them. So, here it is. I don't have any pictures of what the bathroom looked like when we moved in. That would be too embarassing. However, if there is one thing I've always kept close to my heart about this place it is the potential. Our realtor has said more than once that we should consider selling and moving up, but I love the location. I can fix this... When we moved in the hall bathroom had the vanity door in the bathtub. That's the best indication I can give as to the state of the bathroom without a picture. We have iron problems with our water, and the crappy tile tub surround was tinted orange. Well when my septic started having problems, and I removed the toilet to try to snake it out, I figured it was as good a time as any to begin the remodelling of this bathroom. I was negligent in taking pictures throughout the process, but I did take a few.

I'm not displeased with the results. Thank goodness that my ex-father-in-law was willing and interested in helping me with the drywall mudding and texturing. The rest was all me (bad things and good things alike). I spent more money than I had expected when I started, but I'm fairly happy with the results. It's great to just turn the faucet on, and know that it will be the right temperture when I get in the shower or Annie gets in the bath. I like that the lights just turn on when you walk in (although I need to tweak the sensor to allow the skylight to take over when it's bright enough). The jet tub is amazing, and I enjoy having the stero in there so I can "chill". There is more than ample storage in the medicine cabinet, I think, although I have no idea what Annie will want to put in there as she gets older. The trim work looks good, even given the warped walls and the work it took to remove that impact on the crown moulding. I still have some corrective things to do, but all-in-all I think it looks good... That takes a lot for me to say.


Almost there...

Al came up early today to help me with the drywall mud. As much as I wanted to finish everything myself, I knew that he could do it better and faster, and he volunteered. He smoothed out a virtually all my mess, with only a few spots that may need one more coat. It's actually looking really good. We figure a couple more visits by him, and I'll be ready to paint. On top of that, I learned (again) from him some of the tricks to working with drywall mud.

You know? I might actally get the bathroom done in under a year!

Hate drywall mudding... Mainly because I suck at it.