It has been a long time in the making, but I am finally able to make use of a fully functional master bathroom! I confess that it has been about three years in the making. I worked on it when I had enough money saved up to do what I needed. Unfortunately, I have no pictures of what it used to look like, but then again, it might be safer that I don't! After all, I live in Santa Cruz County. I mean, really, all I did was re-paint the walls. If I did more than that, I'd have to have a really expensive permit to have someone from the county come out and tell me if I did an acceptable job or not. Since I am not very self critical about my work, I would have really needed them to ensure I did things according to code, which is available mostly online.... so I've been told. No, I did not take it down to the studs. I did not repair the rot in the floor and walls. I did not rebuild the entire closet drain for the toilet. I did not build a brand new tiled shower on my own. After all, I have never done this level of concrete work. Why would I do something like this for my first attempt? I would not have completely gutted the electric and replaced it, including a really cool towel heater that has a control module that is connected to the computer in the study to save energy and only power it during times when a warm towel is desirable. I just used the same Hans Grohe shower head with body sprays and automatic temperature control. I certainly did not add a new wet wall to improve the functionality for multiple people in the bathroom. I mean, how would I ever have managed to move all of the plumbing when one of the walls is positioned over a huge beam? How the heck would I have been able to connect to the original vent pipe from across the room? No. Everything is as it is, with a fresh paint/plaster application. The door to the bathroom, and the doorway to the closet are exactly where they were, and were not moved two feet to provide better accessibility. I do not have the patience or diligence to save up for new Kraftmaid cabinets and Corian countertops/sinks. I also would never replace the strange door that led out to the deck with a glass block window. Nor would I ever add 2" strips to the ceiling joists to provide enough room for a shower fan/vent. The tile floor looks really good for having been there for thirty plus years...

At any rate, yes, it took me three years to re-paint the bathroom and give me access. In fact, it was only last weekend that I managed to take the time to clean the now new looking glass walls for the shower. I even had to hire a contractor to come in and clean it for me so it looks like new.

It was quite difficult to find a good position in the bathroom to take decent pictures of the... um... new paint. Nevertheless, here is a glimpse:

Frankly, the pictures do not do it justice. Every morning I take a shower now, I have to pause for a moment with the water rushing over me, and grin. Not too bad for an electrical engineer. I mean, for a fresh paint job.

Not a contractor... but I play one in my dreams.

It hit 105 degrees here today. Just now, I took a break from work... I have to interrupt myself here. I've been working from the deck today. The computer is hotter than heck under my hands, but I can sit on the deck and punch away. When the sweat started rolling down my arms, I shed my shirt. That's right. I am working and getting paid to sit outside with no shirt, and my slight gut leaning out over my jeans. That last part I do not like, but so be it. On top of that, I haven't shaved in two days... and I haven't gone to the grocery store in long enough that I am out of soap. You can figure out what that means about my current fragrance...

Anyway, by the end of yesterday, I had exceeded fifty hours of work this past week. So, when I had a break a couple of hours ago, I mixed up a bag of mortar to put in the forms I had previously constructed. This particular bag is supposed to set quite quickly, and it is recommend that cold water be used to mix it if the ambient temperature is warm. So, I did that. However, I noticed that the water got absorbed instantly, and even after I exceeded the maximum recommended water addition, it wasn't right. I grabbed the mixture with my bare hands, and noticed that it had to be in excess of 90 degrees. I tried to use it, like an idiot, and it would not pack. It set up almost instantly in the wheel-barrow. In fact, the only place that it set up well was in the wheel-barrow. I will have to chisel it out, now. I tried to clean up what I had installed, and will have some more work to do with that tonight. I dumped the load down the hill side. I would be concerned about Al Gore showing up at my house to complain about the environmental impact, but I figure he is too busy sitting in his house with the air conditioning set at 65 degrees staring at his Nobel Peace Prize for environmental conservancy.

At any rate, I did have some good news. Home Despot called today to tell me that the rest of my order is in. I can procrastinate the final concrete work on the bathroom in favor of putting up cabinets, which I feel more confident that I can do well...

Not gitin 'er done...

I have had a lot on my mind, and frankly just have not felt like writing about it. However, I just finished something that has been nagging on my mind for a while. It may not look like much, but it is one of the more involved plumbing constructions I have done.

The shower and the hand wand piping was nothing, but getting over to the body sprays was tricky. I was worried about the pressure drop along the way, and still have concerns that it will not be sufficient to have the shower and the sprays on at the same time. I thought I would finish it last night, but I had one joint in the pressure balancing configuration for the body sprays that did not go together right. It was the last joint I had to do, of course, and everything was too tight to make it work. I had to rip it apart this morning to get it all to fit correctly. There are fifty solder joints in all that had to be made after I had the valve rough in completed. None of them leak. Not too bad, actually, for an electrical engineer!

By the way, none of those scorch marks are mine. They were there from old plumbing. Now that I think about it, that one on the left for the shower wand might have been me. I can’t remember for sure. Also, I ended the soldering with just over two inches of solder wire left.

My only concern now is that I may have misjudged the thickness of the wall when it is all done. I remember the shower wand fitting really tightly in the hall bathroom, and I didn’t want to come up short. I guess we will see in another freakin’ year when the whole thing is done…

Plumber's butt tools have been put away...

Yeah, I am not kidding myself. I am going to hell. God and I haven't spoken in five years. I have tried several times, but it is a lot like calling my friends when I really need to talk. I get an answering machine, a busy signal, or "due to high call volume, we can not complete your call." I am sure that if he is really there he has better things to do than deal with me.

Unfortunately, Lucifer has a better support network. Why not? Come on, they love their jobs. I have discovered what hell will be like for me: drywall mud. I will spend an eternity mudding corners and seams. The room will be an infinitely long hall that bends and twists with no corners being at right angles. Every time that I work a seam or corner, I'll go back and check it, sand it, and get ready to do the next coat. At that point, the demons assigned to me will magically put lumps in the mud, and bumps in the walls. They will have tools that spread drywall dust around to interfere with the smooth layering of the mud, and add dust to the bucket to ensure that it is lumpy as well. I will add coat after coat, sand it, smooth it, rough up the freakin' paper, try again, and ultimately wish I could start over.

Dante obviously never tried drywall work, or he would have added a level to his description of hell.

In preparation for my eternity, I will continue to do the mud in the bathroom/closet, and given our terrestrial living environment, I'll get to a point of acceptance. Hell will be another setup.

Bring it on.

That's right, I have earned my Plumbers' Butt Merit Badge. I have re-routed the drains and vents for one sink and the shower, and created a whole new drain and vent for the other lavatory. That's right. I freakin' rock. Plumbing is an interesting job. If you have ever had to hire one, you probably freaked at the cost, but I believe plumbers earn it. What I like is the amount of thought and logic that comes in to play. I imagine that new construction can be done serially: one piece, and then the next. However, remodeling requires careful logical planning. Pipes seldom move in a way that allows one to insert something. The holes in the studs leave little give for movement. Sweating joints leaves a rigid fixture, and cement sets very fast. Which parts can be connected before the next step takes place? It's actually pretty cool for a geek like me.

The new wet wall was a total pain, but I think I did a good job. Diddo with the new shower drain. Well, also with the re-plumbed original drain. Everything is where it should be for my planned bathroom. I even ran the hose in and flooded the drains to check for leaks. Nothing noticeable, so I think I am good. One of those horrible things that comes with remodeling is the replacement of wood that no one will ever know about. It was while replacing a large section of sub-floor that I realized I should remove the old toilet water access and put a new pipe in so that I could flush up with the wall. It went beautifully and looks perfect. I rock. Have I said that?

While I was cutting out the 4'x7' area of subfloor (8' wouldn't meet the joist), Lilo found the hole. He spent the afternoon exploring under the house and in the yard. I chiseled out the rotted footings, replaced them, built a new support for the subfloor near the footings so that the floor wouldn't sag. I put down some Liquid Nails (love that stfuff), and nailed the new piece of subfloor in. Everything looks perfect. This stuff takes me forever, but I am pleased with how everything is coming together. It's funny, but I have always been able to visually see the goal. It is that way with everything I do. I don't look at the studs and problems and see them. I see what it will be, and that is what it will be. I know it.

Whatever. Electrical is next. That is going to be another problem, but I'll figure it out. Then comes the glass block. That has me nervous...


All is good: Annie comes home tomorrow!

My vacation day (yesterday) was not good. I started plumbing in the new wet wall, and it was horrible. The solder would not sweat into the joints. I knew it, but I tried it anyway, thinking maybe I was being over critical. Well, I was a bit over critical, but one joint sprayed water out all over the place. I ran into town to get some parts, and tried again. It freakin' sprayed out at the same place. It was too late to continue working on it, so I had to wait until today.

Today, however, was a new day. I bounced between plumbing and work. First change was the flux. I used paste flux, and everything worked. The solder got sucked in so well that on one sleeve a big gob hardened on the inside where a pipe was supposed to go, and I had to clean it out. I rebuilt the cold line, and it went so smoothly, I went ahead and put in the hot line. Everything is now holding. The joints even look professional. Gotta love it.

The area this all had to go was not pleasant or easy to work. Sweating joints right against wood is a bit scary. However, a few folds of aluminum foil does wonders to protect the wood. It melts fast, so you have to use several layers, but I did not set the house on fire. I am not positive that's a good thing, but well, I didn't. Plumbing under the house is not fun. I didn't plan on it being comfortable, but it is difficult to position one's self to be able to heat a joint and sweat it without having solder drip on you. I can't say I was completely successful, but my stomach and back feel like I just had a major workout.

I have also learned that like most things, plumbing does not respond well to swearing. It heats much better if coaxed to take the solder before you have to shift your position, set the house on fire, or drop something. Although, being threatened that if it doesn't work it is going to be cut out does seem to help.

By the way, the bread trick works pretty well...

Four to go...

Well, we'll start not quite the day after, but last night. As usual, bedtime was difficult. One of the girls has a tendency to say she understand my instructions, and then goes and does what she wants. No, it wasn't mine. The girl in question would pretend to go to bed, and then start bouncing around. I started to drift off at almost 10:30, hoping they would just go to sleep. At that moment, the girl's mom called. I recognize that that family keeps late hours. Everyone does their own thing. It took me hours after that to fall asleep, so I'm really tired... Especially, since Annie and another girl woke up at 6:30 am. I was awake as a result of my internal alarm clock, but I wasn't quite ready to get up...

Well, the morning progressed with only a few problems. They all had donuts on my bed while watching a movie. They spent pretty much all of the time on the trampoline. I was the audience while they demonstrated a routine they had developed among the four of them. It was great!

All the kids were gone by 2:00 pm, and Annie and I ran down to the lumber yard to get some plumbing supplies. It was $130. Holy crap. The only good news was the lady/girl that was at the checkout counter (I had to make sure not to say checking me out) is way too young for me, but might be the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Annie agreed, and also commented on how nice she was (and she always is). Alright, enough about that...

I spent some time under the house before we went to the lumber store. Murphy and Karma had not had time to move things around before I went under, fortunately. Some of the things I was worried about are going to be easier than I thought, some of them are going to be harder... I will get the wet wall installed...

Annie has been vegging on the couch for a while, but she needs me, so I will stop now...

Plumber extraordinaire...

I ran to Home Despot this morning. Well, actually I drove. I entered with all the dread that usually is included with a trip to that location. It took me 25 minutes to find the parts I needed. They were scattered all over the place. Half of that time was spent rummaging through the DeWalt area of the shelves to no avail. At one point, a 'worker' walked by and asked a guy if he was finding everything ok. The guy replied in the affirmative, and the 'worker' made eye contact with me. I was ready to answer in the negative, but he turned and walked on. I could have flagged him down, but my apparent invisibility might have resulted in his having a heart attack. I spiraled out from that section until I found what I needed. The battery was in a special display forty feet away, and the saw was in the saw aisle, where I admit it belonged, but I was confused by all of the other offerings in the DeWalt aisle.

Armed with my goodies, which included new saw blades for the circular saw (yes, I remembered those). I quickly ventured off to the bath area. I wanted to see if there was anything remotely like I want for the shower wall. There wasn't. I know they can order it, though, from previous searches there. Next, I went to the cabinetry section to see if I could resolve one of my concerns regarding plumbing location and vanity construction. I walked around, and around, and around... Finally, I hid my cart, and walked to the design desk. The lady was very busy (not being facetious). I stood patiently until she looked at me. "Are you John?" No. "I didn't think I recognized you." Anyway, she asked what I needed, given that she was with a customer, and I told her I just had a couple of quick questions. After I asked my first question, she asked in return, "are you a contractor?" No. "Wow, you sound like one." I took that as a complement, my contractor experiences notwithstanding.

I returned home, worked for Sun for several hours while the batteries charged. Then, I took comp time and finished the closet access. You thought I was exaggerating about the headers in the walls, didn't you? Well, here's proof...



After the left hand corner is the door that goes outside... for now. That door has always been a pain. It interfered with the bathroom access door that used to be in the room, and, um... visitors felt uncomfortable with sitting on the toilet with that window in the door. At the left side of the long wall is the original door when I moved in. Now you see how it interfered with the other door. Next is my new door. That's where it belongs, and that's what makes sense. You'll see when it is all done. Then there is about 20" of no header. Shocked, I know. Then comes the header for the original door from 30 years ago. It continues to the end of the wall.




Now we have the closet wall. The header on the left is the original access to the closet. Stairs were added about 20 years ago that made it difficult to access the closet. They weren't as low as the ones you see, but if I explained that it would be incriminating. I haven't changed anything, just 'fixed' the problems. To the right is the access I just built. Yes, the stairs still pose a problem, but the left side is almost 6' from the floor. Well, the subfloor. Then there is 20 more inches of no header. 260" of wall length - 40" not covered with a header. May God have mercy on the person that decides to move the doors the next time someone remodels.

Of course, Lilo helped...


Progress is slow, but steady...

... and procrastination really makes it worse! I just finished cleaning out the master bath and closet in preparation for finishing those projects. Actually, I just got out of the shower. That was required before I sat down to whine and complain. If you are thinking about a remodeling project that involves any more than painting the walls, stop. Light a candle, turn on the gas and get out. Poison a nearby tree and encourage it to crush your house. Or, less devious, move.

Serious remodeling uncovers all sorts of problems that you would rather not know about. You will also lose respect for builders in general. They probably aren't all that way, but every builder that has ever touched my house was a lazy bastard that didn't know what he was doing. I would probably have to include myself, and exclude my father and my ex-father-in-law. In case you need an example, when I ripped out the nasty carpet in my master bedroom, I found a hole where the original floor register was located. Instead of cutting some 2x4 and sub floor pieces to fill the area (which they had because they were extending the room), some genius decided to cut a coffee can, hammer the metal flat, and then hammer that to the floor. I am not exaggerating, there was a nail every 1/2 - 3/4 inches around the perimeter. They probably spent more time on that, then had they just used wood and did it right.

All sorts of things come out that require fixing that you didn't know about. That does not include the things you have to move to make the room more functional. Future viewers never know about these things. They just look and say, 'wow, those are nice faucets!' Really? Yeah, that took a lot of work. I had to move all the plumbing access, re-do the dirt stack, plug the holes that the original builders left for rodents to get into the walls, replace the footings and mud sill where the shoddy/old plumbing leaked and rotted the structure...

Granted, my procrastination made this cleaning phase a lot worse. After the septic backed up, I didn't clean it and had to take a shovel to the dried toilet paper. I am an idiot. I suspect most people will simply respond with, 'we wouldn't have that problem.' You can't see my knowing grin and single raised eyebrow right now. You are fooling yourself if you don't think you have some if not all of these issues. Rot? We don't have rot! Of course not. But if your house is more than a few years old, your probability is high that you have wood around the toilet or under the shower/bath plumbing/drain that has experienced some water seepage, and mother nature has decided to use that to cultivate some bacteria and mold. They've eaten some of the wood and it is now soft, spongy, and can be picked apart by your bare hands. But, you don't have rot.

My procrastination has been based not only on a lack of funds, but a mental state that would not allow me to tackle the inevitable. I have cables hanging down from the old installation that should be off, but are they? I have one cable that was left in the wall after the last dumbass remodeled that had the last three feet wrapped in electrical tape. That should be disconnected, but after I found the cable under the deck that was treated the same way, and has spent the last twenty years slowly shorting out and evaporating the copper for five inches back into the sheathing, I can't be sure.

Then we have the reason that a shower was required. It's one thing to pull out old insulation and have those itchy fibers land on your skin, it's even worse when it is accompanied by showers of rodent droppings. Yeah, I know. You don't have that problem. Rodents have the enviable ability to squeeze into unimaginable locations. I read somewhere that even their skulls can flex. The only rodent that I will tolerate is the bat, which also lives in my attic and makes 'contributions' on the insulation. If you live in an area that can have rodents, you have them. Maybe they are not as bad as they are here in the mountains, but you have them. Not all of those noises you hear in the dead of night are 'just the house settling.'

So, the dust is settling in the room right now from the vigorous sweeping. Once that's done, I will sketch some things on the floor, cut a hole for easier access to the plumbing (thank you, Dad, for that suggestion) and figure out what the next step is. I need to move the doorway to the closet, and I think I am going to have to draw the design. The improved stairs (they are not new, that would require county permits) take up more room in the closet, and space is tight.

Isn't this what everybody plans to do on vacation?

That's right, I am a plumber. I have a toilet that is called a SuperFlush. It is actually scary the first time you are sitting on it, and reach around to flush. It uses an air chamber to force everything out. It rocks, but there is a catch. If you use too much toilet paper, it shoves it into the sewer line so hard that it creates a brick. I know, I am creating all sorts of bad images in your mind, but deal with it. That brick starts its journey to the septic tank happy as can be. "Oh look, a dead mouse! Wow! What is that? Hey, it look like I am going to go through a junction. Cool!" That's when it gets bad. I think that the junction where the line descends has a tendency to hang the brick. After some time, the entire line is clogged. This has happened several times since I put in that toilet. Annie and I have a routine for using the potty that reduces this possibility, but this weekend, I forgot to inform our guests about the excessive use of toilet paper. Sure enough, Monday morning after my shower I glanced into the bathroom-to-be and saw water and crap (literally) issuing from the pipe that will hopefully one day soon house a toilet. I refused to pay the plumber $125 for fifteen minutes of work any more. So, I went to work, and left early. I went to Home Despot and bought an electronic auger for $430. If I use it four times in the next two years, it will have more than paid for itself...

I won't go into the details of juggling work and cleaning out the line, but it was today before I was able to really put it to work. Actually, it was about an hour ago. Sure enough, once I had access to the sewer line, had the auger in place, and gave it power, it took two minutes before sludge was happily running into the septic system. It's strange the things that make me happy. After the last couple of days, I was elated to see crap running out of a pipe. I may have even done a little dance in the yard...

One more thing for which I don't need to hire outside help...

And yes, I am fine with the realization that the way things go for me, after spending this money it will never happen again...

Plumbers Butt not included...